The Difference Between Guts And Balls

[BRR]

We've all heard about people having guts or balls.. But
do you really know the difference between them? In an
effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below.

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and asking:

"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"


BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the
guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your
collar, slapping your wife on the butt and saying: "You're next."


I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject






nother goodone

>A dad walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a loonie.>Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes >the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.>>A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business >suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and >sipping a cup of coffee.>At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on >the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets >up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.>Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and >starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few >seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman >deftly catches in her free hand.>Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to >her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.>As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the >father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never >seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a >doctor?">No," the woman replies, "I work for Revenue Canada".

[cookedup]

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown."

Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"

A newly married couple are honeymooning in India. As they're walking through a bazaar they see a sign that reads: "Magic sandals. Guaranteed to improve your sex life."

The couple walk into the shop and are greeted by the shopkeeper. "These magic sandals," he tells the wife, "will increase your husband's sex drive and make him an accomplished lover." The wife tells the shopkeeper that her husband wears a size 10, and that he'd like to try them on.

So the husband sits down, puts on the sandals and gets a gleam in his eye that his wife has never seen before. The husband rips his pants off, bends the shopkeeper over the counter and goes to town.

Frantically the shopkeeper screams, "The sandals! You've got them on the wrong feet!"