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Aeon
21st January 2008, 06:13 PM
I think i have gone mad with love...

I have written my first love letter.... I am not entirely good at love,....
great at sex..lol... but feelings make me barf usually....

He asked if i was obsessed (as some men get paranoid about this when a woman loves them...) and this was my answer...

I thought of you all night,

You asked me a question, I could not answer it until now,

Am I obsessed with you?
This question bothered me, because......

I ask myself, What is obsession?

Here is what the dictionary says about obsession:
Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.
Here's what i think,...

It's a desire, a want, desperation, a unhealthy fixation, We obsess about objects, animals :D, drugs, television, music, money, environment, possibilities.... love..... places, spaces, hobbies, In fact we even obsess about obsession, possession, trust, emotions, ideas, people....ectect

In a world that's obsessed.. you ask me this question.. it affects me...

My only answer to you is....

I love you.. and like all things we love...
I think of you, crave you, desire you, want you, even need you.
In a place where there is no trust, i give mine to you.

Soooo...
If love in anyway equates to obsession, if the two can somehow be compared to the other,
Then in love I am obsessed with you...

However...
I am not selfish with this love, i want always to see you free...

AND.. this is the difference between love and obsession or lust

Obsession possesses, love is free....
If you did not desire me..
I would wander away from you lost, but i would leave you not in bitterness
But in sorrow. Walking away from you is the most impossible thing, but for you I can do no less than what you desire.

I am not obsessed with you, I am obsessed with my love for you,
I am happy with my love for you.... even if you didn't love me in return.

I will/can't assume your love for me, I will never take it for granted that you
do/might love me. Even if you told me one million times I would never tire of hearing it
or not be surprised by the sound of your voice saying it.

Something I heard the last night that made me laugh and
gave me great peace over how i feel about you... it made me stop
worrying about if you purely love me or not...

It was a line from a movie
Twins are having a discussion, one twin says to the other "how have you gone threw life so oblivious to what people think of you, when i am so paranoid about it." He continues to say
"when you were in love with 'Jenny' she mocked you secretly to friends and everyone laughed at you...how did you not notice?" The other twin looks at him and says.... " i did notice i just didn't care.. I loved jenny so much..." The other twin in anger says " but she didn't love you!"
He looks at his brother and says "that was her problem."

So.... i hope that answers your question.... I can not be obsessed with you, because
i truly love you in my way, which is pure, innocent and without obsession.

Here's is the best definition I found for Love: (just to balance :D lol)

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
Sexual passion.
Sexual intercourse.
A love affair.
An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.
often Love Christianity. Charity.
Sports. A zero score in tennis. ...LOL!!!!
v., loved, lovĄ¤ing, loves.

v.tr.
To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): We love our parents. I love my friends.
To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person).
To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house.
To embrace or caress.
To have sexual intercourse with.
To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming.
Theology. To have charity for.
To thrive on; need: The cactus loves hot, dry air.
v.intr.
To experience deep affection or intense desire for another.
idioms:
for love
Out of compassion; with no thought for a reward: She volunteers at the hospital for love.
for love or money
Under any circumstances. Usually used in negative sentences: I would not do that for love or money.
for the love of
For the sake of; in consideration for: did it all for the love of praise.
in love
Deeply or passionately enamored: a young couple in love.
Highly or immoderately fond: in love with Japanese painting; in love with the sound of her own voice.
no love lost
No affection; animosity: There's no love lost between them.


I could write to you of it for hours... but i fear i would bore you with it.
So... this is all i will ever say about it...and... this is the most i have ever said to anyone of love,
and i wouldn't tell you at all except.. i couldn't help myself...i obsessed about it.
:D♥

He said it made him cry...............???? WTF!!!!
I am so in love with this man... all i can do is sit back a be tortured by it.
Do men want women to love them purely?


To the guys.... I hope you see when a woman loves you this much...
to the girls... I hope you can love like this... and i hope he sees when you do.

Forphucsake
21st January 2008, 06:27 PM
Beautiful.

Aeon
21st January 2008, 06:32 PM
Thank you.:hidey:

Calienta
21st January 2008, 06:51 PM
Holy shit. That's really special. To be able to pour your heart out to someone like that ... That's the real deal, girl :) You're so fortunate, and I think you realise that.

Puppy Dogs and Ice Cream
21st January 2008, 07:03 PM
when you wrote me that letter it made my eyes well up with tears

Aeon
21st January 2008, 07:19 PM
Holy shit. That's really special. To be able to pour your heart out to someone like that ... That's the real deal, girl :) You're so fortunate, and I think you realise that.

I do...
I love him .. he is amazing and everything i ever ever wanted...even when i didn't know what i wanted.. Even now i make myself sick with the mushy mushy, but it's so overwhelming, i believe this is why he asked me this question... i do not crowd him or bark orders at him, nor do i need to... i let him be free constantly.. in turn he gives me the same...
but the feelings for him are so intense.. even with my mouth shut i can not contain them.

when you wrote me that letter it made my eyes well up with tears

Where is that leash...? :angel:

Dymond
21st January 2008, 07:26 PM
Damn.. That was alot to read.. As a guy my mind would have wandered about half-way through it.. It was awesome though!

Calienta
21st January 2008, 07:28 PM
Even if it was your wife writing it, and it was back when you first got engaged or thereabouts?

Dymond
21st January 2008, 07:33 PM
Even if it was your wife writing it, and it was back when you first got engaged or thereabouts?

Good point!

Carping
22nd January 2008, 02:35 AM
very nice i just hope you never texted that, that is one big love letter

Uganja
22nd January 2008, 05:47 AM
Was he asking if you were obsessed with him, because the love in your relationship is perhaps a little one sided?

Beautifully written, but I can't help but feel that you saying: "I am happy with my love for you.... even if you didn't love me in return." is denial.

Who would really be happy in that scenario?

Tca
22nd January 2008, 06:07 AM
Too long to read

sure it was great though

odd th0mas
22nd January 2008, 02:16 PM
lovestruck AGAIN?



Has yet another 8 or 9 month cycle passed so quickly before my eyes....lol? (H)

Asshole
22nd January 2008, 02:34 PM
I agree it does seem from the questiona sked that he is questioning your feelings for him, weather he returns them or not is anyones guess, but by saying you would love him even if he did not love you, and that you would leave without bitterness seem unreal..

Personally it was a little heavy and longwinded for me, i would be a little bit put off by it.

Aeon
22nd January 2008, 02:51 PM
I agree it does seem from the questiona sked that he is questioning your feelings for him, weather he returns them or not is anyones guess, but by saying you would love him even if he did not love you, and that you would leave without bitterness seem unreal..

Personally it was a little heavy and longwinded for me, i would be a little bit put off by it.

I understand that you would see it that way...

It's funny because when he asked me if i was obsessed?
I got mad and I was like "well are you obsessed with me...?"
He laughed because there was a couple days when he couldn't get ahold of me, he continued to say he obsessed those days i was gone... So he believed that on some level he was obsessed

"if" he didn't love me in return i would be sad... But i would be beyond happy that i got to feel such a love for someone in my lifetime...

FYI he loves me as intensely and as long winded as i love him...
the point of the letter is to show ...
That love can be unhealthy and sad... and that if everything for him and i fell apart... I would still be standing there, because that is how much i love him.

My love for him is not selfish and expects nothing in return.
I have no doubt that you can't understand that.


lovestruck AGAIN?



Has yet another 8 or 9 month cycle passed so quickly before my eyes....lol? (H)

What's a girl to do when so many of you adorable men are running around?
It was bound to happen.

wats_up
22nd January 2008, 03:20 PM
Jesus that was great, I read up untill I scrolled and realized there was more

Bute veyr nicely writen

Calienta
22nd January 2008, 03:28 PM
So what's the next step missy? Are you the marrying type ... or what.

Puppy Dogs and Ice Cream
22nd January 2008, 04:06 PM
but aeon you told me you hated bambi....

Dymond
22nd January 2008, 04:37 PM
We'll just ignore the frivolous attempts to get a laugh and move on shall we?

After reading Asshole and Uganja's comments I went back and really read the letter. I do think there is a fine line between love and obsession and honestly love in and off itself is selfish, even when we try to pretend otherwise. I can't imagine being able to just watch as somebody you love walks away and not feel something besides sorrow, or to know that you love somebody when in fact they don't love you in return. Thats the biggest problem in life, when you love somebody else more than you love yourself and you allow them to destroy or even define who you are. So I'm glad this guy feels the same about you as you do about him.

Aeon
22nd January 2008, 05:05 PM
We'll just ignore the frivolous attempts to get a laugh and move on shall we?

After reading Asshole and Uganja's comments I went back and really read the letter. I do think there is a fine line between love and obsession and honestly love in and off itself is selfish, even when we try to pretend otherwise. I can't imagine being able to just watch as somebody you love walks away and not feel something besides sorrow, or to know that you love somebody when in fact they don't love you in return. Thats the biggest problem in life, when you love somebody else more than you love yourself and you allow them to destroy or even define who you are. So I'm glad this guy feels the same about you as you do about him.

Good point...
Like I said..
Mad with love. Lost in it...
If I fail.. I know I can count on you guys to verbally abuse me with
"I told you so's." :grin:
Otherwise I can do no more than dive in.

I will never marry...LOL... I don't believe in it...
(Dodges bullets)

Asshole
22nd January 2008, 06:16 PM
I understand that you would see it that way...

It's funny because when he asked me if i was obsessed?
I got mad and I was like "well are you obsessed with me...?"
He laughed because there was a couple days when he couldn't get ahold of me, he continued to say he obsessed those days i was gone... So he believed that on some level he was obsessed

"if" he didn't love me in return i would be sad... But i would be beyond happy that i got to feel such a love for someone in my lifetime...

FYI he loves me as intensely and as long winded as i love him...
the point of the letter is to show ...
That love can be unhealthy and sad... and that if everything for him and i fell apart... I would still be standing there, because that is how much i love him.

My love for him is not selfish and expects nothing in return.
I have no doubt that you can't understand that.

I can understand that, but if i received that speech, well id rather she just text me saying i love you, When you get a message sent to you liek that, by hand email or whatever, it kind of obliges you to respond, you have no choice.

And imagine saying no to a girl that wen to all that trouble, just seems kinda like you jumped in at the deep end

Aeon
22nd January 2008, 06:35 PM
We've been seeing eachother on and off for since march.
I took my time jumping off the deep end...
besides, ...sometimes you have to throw yourself into something just because you have to.
And f'off anyway lol...
I'm not perfect...