Tell us ur crazy/weird sex story!!!

[Nightfrost]

Whats the point of this thread ? its a barrel of laughs at ppl who have weird sex stories!!

Whats MINE ? u ask ?

Ok so i was Fucking this chick right ? and she for some reason wanted me to put it in her butt so i pulled out and she got into doggy position and i was about ready to put it in .. and i was like 3 inches away .. and she farted .. i stood there laughing my ass off and she was all embarrassed and said that she cant controlled her self when she gets excited..
:sad::sad::haha::haha::sad::sad:


TELL US YOUR STORY !!

[$treet pharmaci$t]

Whats the point of this thread ? its a barrel of laughs at ppl who have weird sex stories!!

Whats MINE ? u ask ?

Ok so i was Fucking this chick right ? and she for some reason wanted me to put it in her butt so i pulled out and she got into doggy position and i was about ready to put it in .. and i was like 3 inches away .. and she farted .. i stood there laughing my ass off and she was all embarrassed and said that she cant controlled her self when she gets excited..
:sad::sad::haha::haha::sad::sad:


TELL US YOUR STORY !!


Plus one :haha:

[Lavastia]

I have a few I wouldn't mind sharing as long as my woman never finds this thread, hah, although these took place before we were together. But the one that really stands out is that me and this chick were going to a party and I had my friend pick us up in his brand new truck. We got to the party and about an hour into it I jacked the keys to his truck, saying I left my smokes in there, took the chick out there, we went at it, although since not having a rubber, I pulled and ended up leaving a huge stain on the headrest of his new truck. He was pissed, she was embarrassed and I have a huge laugh about it everytime I get in his truck.

[NightMare]

i got one i dont know about if it falls in this category but here it goes, so i was at this party and me and some drunk girl decide to go get our fuck on well she says she gives great head and who am i to not let her show me well she is sucking it like theres no tomorrow and goes in too swallow my whole cock in a perfect deepthroat only to end up puking on my cock and balls she was pretty fucking embarressed and apologetic, only made worse by the fact that people found out when i had to run to the shower covering myself with a friends shirt i found on the floor and then they called her gag and puke haha

[Nova]

goos stories.. keep em coming

[Cheeky]

Oh god, toooo much for my virgin eyes ;)
I aint touching this thread with a 10ft pole
:angel:
Keep em coming anyway :whistle:

[kiara]

i thought i would add one here...

lets see i was really fucked up one nite and i was walking around the school with him and we were by the baseball diamonds and so we climbed up on the back stop netting. we were chillen on there and one thing let to another and we ended up fucking on the back stop of the baseball diamond. it was pretty crazy...


ummm my son was conceved in my dads F-150 cuz i didnt want to get the jizzem on his seat...and at the time i didnt think about using my mouth.


lets see i have some more i know it i just cant think right now...i might post again if i can think!!! lol

[hunter1]

I thought that sounded like a michigan drunk night out...lol

[kiara]

yes it was a nice fucked up michigan nite out!!!

[$treet pharmaci$t]

:O you people have sex

I'm a virgin :angel: obviously because I am not married :P

[kiara]

yea thats what they all say :glare: lol


:O you people have sex

I'm a virgin :angel: obviously because I am not married :P

[tftmc]

Some nice stories out there, and yeah I used to not want to get things messy, cause my ex had useless ovaries or something, you get the picture, and it was GREAT! but that's not my story....

I'm thumbing through the achieves of fun sex memories of mammary. I have 2 good ones that I can think of off the top of my head.

1st. The weird 18 year old Art Student chick who was crazy. She was a nice girl, I was at the bar she came up and we were bumpin' grindin' all that shit, but for about 3 minutes and she was very touchy feely. From 2 seconds in I knew I was gettin' some that night.

Anyways 3 minutes into dancing she's asks "Do you have any STDs?" I say no, but like it would have mattered, so she says "ok lets go back to my dorm"

We're fuckin' around, making out, i start eating our her UNSHAVED bush, first time doing the unshaved thing, I liked it, not the eating part, but the fucking part....shaved is better but whatever I liked it. So she was a very weird lay indeed. Her pussy vibrated and pulsated, usually a good and voluntary act from the woman, not in this case, she was a SPAZZ. She was saying "YES YES YES YES YES" about as fast she could, and pretty loud, door open.

Week later, she calls me up, I was in the town so I went to her place. Skip the bs, we're fuckin and she gets a call and says "you'll want me to get this" and i did cause it was her friend with some big ass titties for a threesome. She comes over, I'm like hey I got some Kush here you girls wanna smoke first? I hit it, pass it over, 2 seconds after, KONKED out on the fuckin bed, naked! I had to fucking leave a 3 some, I was about to smack them to wake them up....fucking bullshit.

#2- I had a GF, going out for about a year and a half I was 19 and she went upstate to college. She had to do this scholorship program and stay unvisited for 3 weeks. So I didn't see her for about a month after that time was over her mom and stepdad went to go visit her. Her parents and I smoked a fat one on the way up (they're cool old school Bikers) and we met her and went to the mall. Knowing we only had about 20 minutes alone at the mall, we went into the Macy's Dressing Room, Female room FYI and pulled a quickie right there in the girls dressing room. Nutted all over the floor, 2 stupid bitches were in the stall next to us and kept talking. When we came out there was like 10 people telling us to get out and no men allowed in the Female dressing room. That one is my favorite.

Just a tip of advice, DO NOT try on clothes in the 2nd booth to the left in the Female dressing room of the Macy's at the Crossroads Mall in Albany NY.


Peyote, DO NOT POST HERE!!! We don't want to hear that sick crap you do.

[NightMare]

hes not lieing hes just not telling you about the jar of vaseline, butt plugs, penis pump, anal beads , and giant dildos he uses on himself while hes waiting for that special someone

[tftmc]

hes not lieing hes just not telling you about the jar of vaseline, butt plugs, penis pump, anal beads , and giant dildos he uses on himself while hes waiting for that special someone

Who's that special one, Macaulay Culkin circa 1992?

[lurkmode]

This one's fucked up but kinda funny... i was getting head from this chick and she told me not to nut in her mouth and i told her i wouldn't... i thought i'd be an ass and do it anyway so i nut and she instantly stands up and spits it right in my eye i mean literally in my eye... i so wanted to slap the shit out of that bitch...

[cunexttuesday]

I have stories!

No way in hell I'm putting them on this forum tho!

[$treet pharmaci$t]

I got a strange story that does not happen everyday


So I am texting this girl I used to sleep with on the regular. First off this girl is a little bit of a player. Anyways it turns out that she is at her sisters house. Her sister starts responding on her phone, and we go back and forth for a while and then the conversation takes a turn towards sex. This girl had heard a lot about me I knew she existed but we had never met. So she tells me chelle is sleeping and says she wants to hook up. At first I am like no I cant wee shouldnt blah blah blah. Finally my dick talks me into it. She drives over to my apartment and we have sex a few times :D All in all she wasnt as good as her sister because she did not enjoy giving head where as her sister was all about it. She did do some stuff that her sister didnt though.

It was one of my more slutty moments I guess.

enjoy keep them coming.

[Flipchic]

I got a strange story that does not happen everyday

LOL yeah that was a pretty unique story ted.. :eh:


:haha:

[Cracker4Life]

Alright this happened in the town of Brighton, Michigan It was a kind of chilly night and I was in 10th grade at the time and we were at a field party (yes a party in the middle of a fucking field.) Well me and this girl are sitting pretty close to each other near the bon fire trying to keep each other warm. While this is happening other kids around the fire are talking about an escaped convict that was on the loose in the area (keep that in you head for the rest of the story)

we start cuddeling closer and closer she starts whispering in my ear, along with gentle kisses to my neck and cheek.

I turned my head and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She grabs my hand and pulls me into the woods and starts kissing me and un zipping my pants.

I start to undress her.

well we start going at it, one of her legs is in my arm while im giving it to her from behind. we are about 10 mins in and all of a sudden one of the kids from the bon fire is sneaking through the woods and jumps from behind a tree scaring the living shit out of her. she pushes away from me and starts running like the wind. I couldnt help but to laugh but I was upset i didnt get to bust my nut.

We did meet up once again a few weeks later though :D

[Quick Chow]

im moving this coz it has nothing to do with gc forums

[tftmc]

im moving this coz it has nothing to do with gc forums

Yes it does, in every sense of the words "has to do with GC".

(Happy 1800th Post ME!!!! Good job! :thumbs: Bad post! :eh:)

This one's fucked up but kinda funny... i was getting head from this chick and she told me not to nut in her mouth and i told her i wouldn't... i thought i'd be an ass and do it anyway so i nut and she instantly stands up and spits it right in my eye i mean literally in my eye... i so wanted to slap the shit out of that bitch...

Good one, not for you though lol.

One time, well you ever had a chick cap your dick when you're about to blow, she tolds the tip with her thumb in for 1-2 seconds. Well my gf from high school was laying back I pulled out as im finishing she "capped" it...and lets say it works like a hose...it builds pressure, and she was tall, like 5' 10"-11", and her hair was spread out, and she got it from her belly button to the tip of her long ass hair and of course all over her face. She took it willingly on the face all the time, but without prior warning...I suppose it's a lot worse...but yeah the point is it got into her eye, that shit shot out like a damn shotgun.

DO NOT DO THIS FOR LONGER THAN 3 SECONDS, CAN CAUSE SOME BAD SHIT, That's from Dr. Drew via Loveline where I found out about this shit.

I got a million, and counting crazy sex stories, Cars, fuckin @ my old graveyard shift job on the NYS Thruway's Garage on concrete in the supply room, and the inspector came, next room to GF's grandfather (kinda weird), a gf giving me a handjob when really pissed off, took it on the face said "at least you got yours off" and threw a bottle at my head, hitting it. SHE TOLD ME TO! Women.......

[annonymous187]

I used to work in a hotel (night shift) when i see a dude come in and out with his girlfriend and his buddies (they were coked out). finally she comes in from outside and i say "hi"
she tells me wants a tour of the rooms so we talk and one thing led to another and im fucking around with her in the elevator (no cameras) she needs to go to her room so i say meet me at room xyz she comes back with nothing on except high heels, trench oat, bra and panties (she is fit) . so were in the room and she's quick to give brains, i didnt object, and all of a sudden she is like "can my boyfriend come and watch" FUCK THAT i told her. she continued but kept insisting by this time im frustrated cuz i need to get back to work . she stops and picks up the phone to call him so he can listen. so i start str8 up banging this chicks face telling her "you love the cock dont u bitch" and she keeps it going with responses.. so so i buss in her mouth and she hangds up the phone. I go back to work. she calls me 1/2 hr later with the same request. I tell her no and insist me and her meet up again alone. I bang it out again smoke a one pape and laugh the rest of the night.


btw. this story could not be told under a normal handle for many reasons.

[tftmc]

I used to work in a hotel (night shift) when i see a dude come in and out with his girlfriend and his buddies (they were coked out). finally she comes in from outside and i say "hi"
she tells me wants a tour of the rooms so we talk and one thing led to another and im fucking around with her in the elevator (no cameras) she needs to go to her room so i say meet me at room xyz she comes back with nothing on except high heels, trench oat, bra and panties (she is fit) . so were in the room and she's quick to give brains, i didnt object, and all of a sudden she is like "can my boyfriend come and watch" FUCK THAT i told her. she continued but kept insisting by this time im frustrated cuz i need to get back to work . she stops and picks up the phone to call him so he can listen. so i start str8 up banging this chicks face telling her "you love the cock dont u bitch" and she keeps it going with responses.. so so i buss in her mouth and she hangds up the phone. I go back to work. she calls me 1/2 hr later with the same request. I tell her no and insist me and her meet up again alone. I bang it out again smoke a one pape and laugh the rest of the night.


btw. this story could not be told under a normal handle for many reasons.

That was you, SON OF A BITCH!!! :angry2: THE mods will have your IP for me in no time!!!

j/k :P But that is fucked up, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing. My friend used to fuck wives (35-45y/o) we were about 20-21, and he did it all the time, he had a thing for it for about a year....it's still funny tho.

[$treet pharmaci$t]

I used to work in a hotel (night shift) when i see a dude come in and out with his girlfriend and his buddies (they were coked out). finally she comes in from outside and i say "hi"
she tells me wants a tour of the rooms so we talk and one thing led to another and im fucking around with her in the elevator (no cameras) she needs to go to her room so i say meet me at room xyz she comes back with nothing on except high heels, trench oat, bra and panties (she is fit) . so were in the room and she's quick to give brains, i didnt object, and all of a sudden she is like "can my boyfriend come and watch" FUCK THAT i told her. she continued but kept insisting by this time im frustrated cuz i need to get back to work . she stops and picks up the phone to call him so he can listen. so i start str8 up banging this chicks face telling her "you love the cock dont u bitch" and she keeps it going with responses.. so so i buss in her mouth and she hangds up the phone. I go back to work. she calls me 1/2 hr later with the same request. I tell her no and insist me and her meet up again alone. I bang it out again smoke a one pape and laugh the rest of the night.


btw. this story could not be told under a normal handle for many reasons.

show yourself you bastard

[Flipchic]

I think his post is hot :hidey: the member posting this as anon made it more... interesting.

http://djforum.free.fr/smileysmileysmiley/v2/surprises/surprises.smileysmiley.com.54.gif

[Cracker4Life]

:temper: those that are posting but not posting storys...QUIT IT

[Aiyur]

what the hell did you do Nightfrost? xD You got some horny ass people on here lol Haha if they knew all my stories, they would have wet dreams for life. Let's just say I do a load of different fun and interesting things ;)

[Flipchic]

:temper: those that are posting but not posting storys...QUIT IT

Btw, it's "stories".. and fine, i'll QUIT. :snob:

[NightMare]

This one's fucked up but kinda funny... i was getting head from this chick and she told me not to nut in her mouth and i told her i wouldn't... i thought i'd be an ass and do it anyway so i nut and she instantly stands up and spits it right in my eye i mean literally in my eye... i so wanted to slap the shit out of that bitch...

hahahaha you got snowballed

[$treet pharmaci$t]

Bump

[Brick Shit House]

ok Brick will tell one

I was seeing this chick she she had this thing when she was about to cum she would twitch buck or whatever you call it lol. we were going at it she was starting to squirm a little though nothing of it she had her feet up on the front of my shoulders i was going to town on her not realy paying attention. when she booted me i flew off the end of the bed landed in my laundry hamper which tipped over and and my head landed in the garbage can. took me a sec then i started laughing my ass off she was a little red faced and was like it is not funny lol i was like sure the hell is. We only dated for a couple more weeks :)

[tftmc]

hahahaha you got snowballed

No there isn't a word for that, he just "Got nut spit on his face" Snowballed is when she gets it in the mouth you willingly receive that gizz in the mouth via a kiss....eghhhh. It was close though...:haha:


And yeah, Post your story or you're a re-virgin and that means you GOTSTA GO!. So post the stories....

I admitted to what is probably a felony, Sexual Intercourse and subsequent ejaculation in a public place....very public place. So spit it out, or get out!

[theaft3rglow]

Oh god, toooo much for my virgin eyes ;)
I aint touching this thread with a 10ft pole
:angel:
Keep em coming anyway :whistle:

I heard the funniest joke based on this quote...
I wouldnt touch that with a ten foot pole.....
what does that even mean.....
what would be the opposite


ooo man.....i def. WOULD touch that with a 10 foot pole.....

[EviLWaYz]

Oh god, toooo much for my virgin eyes ;)
I aint touching this thread with a 10ft pole
:angel:
Keep em coming anyway :whistle:

you and teddy bear must be some how related as you are both virgins with children :haha:

[$treet pharmaci$t]

you and teddy bear must be some how related as you are both virgins with children :haha:

:waiting: story time

[EviLWaYz]

:waiting: story time

nah got 1 but its so embarrassing and frankly unbelievable it sounds like i made it up haha

[Brick Shit House]

while then lets us make the dessicion fuck i hate spelling lol

[$treet pharmaci$t]

nah got 1 but its so embarrassing and frankly unbelievable it sounds like i made it up haha


I will be the judge of that

[Brick Shit House]

as they sit and wait for the story

[lurkmode]

hahahaha you got snowballed

so that's what you call it... it was like some all natural visine or something...

i got another story... i work graveyard shift (building maintenence) there is two other people that are usually working. when i first started i was quiet and kept to myself. one night the manager corners me in the walk-in cooler and she just starts laying it on me out of no where (undoing my pants sucking me off) anyways i just want to handle business so i picked her up and started fucking her against the wall.. anyways the shelf stocker boy walks in and was like "holy shit" turned around and walked right out i didn't even stop.. he wouldn't even look at me the rest of the week and i still can't keep that bitch off my nuts...lmao

[Nightfrost]

I have stories!

No way in hell I'm putting them on this forum tho!
COME ON PLZZZ

im moving this coz it has nothing to do with gc forums
IT WAS MEANT FOR GC PPL BUT I GUESS EVERYONE LOVES TO TELL A GOOD STORY :bleh:

Yes it does, in every sense of the words "has to do with GC".

(Happy 1800th Post ME!!!! Good job! :thumbs: Bad post! :eh:)

.....

:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs::thumbs::thumbs:
what the hell did you do Nightfrost? xD You got some horny ass people on here lol Haha if they knew all my stories, they would have wet dreams for life. Let's just say I do a load of different fun and interesting things ;)

I THINK I MADE A GOOD THREAD :)

[lurkmode]

I agree it definitely a good thread...:thumbs:

[kiara]

No there isn't a word for that, he just "Got nut spit on his face" Snowballed is when she gets it in the mouth you willingly receive that gizz in the mouth via a kiss....eghhhh. It was close though...:haha:


And yeah, Post your story or you're a re-virgin and that means you GOTSTA GO!. So post the stories....

I admitted to what is probably a felony, Sexual Intercourse and subsequent ejaculation in a public place....very public place. So spit it out, or get out!




i spit some jizz on a guy before only cuz he pissed me off and came to quickly....yea dont piss me off when im all horned up..

and i heard snowballing was when the bitch spits it back in your mouth regardless if you wanted it or not. if she just wanted to be a super bitch and do that....i dont understand how anyone could do that...spit it in someones mouth. now when i said i spit it on some guy it was cuz he came to fast lol....


and as for gettin it in the eye!!!! i seen a few posts bout that...this guy i use to date would love either shooting it on my face or in my mouth...yeah cool whatever do what you do i would tell him but every time he would do it i would get a shit load in my eye. this happened everytime!! so i would go home when i lived at my rents and go to bed and wake up the next day with a swollen eye. yea it was real cute let me tell you. ha it sucked...now i have learned to close my eyes when i get money shots...

[steff]

im moving this coz it has nothing to do with gc forums

Shame there isn't a fairytale section.

I'll come back when Uganja has left his mark.

[isahoe]

i spit some jizz on a guy before only cuz he pissed me off and came to quickly....yea dont piss me off when im all horned up..

and i heard snowballing was when the bitch spits it back in your mouth regardless if you wanted it or not. if she just wanted to be a super bitch and do that....i dont understand how anyone could do that...spit it in someones mouth. now when i said i spit it on some guy it was cuz he came to fast lol....


and as for gettin it in the eye!!!! i seen a few posts bout that...this guy i use to date would love either shooting it on my face or in my mouth...yeah cool whatever do what you do i would tell him but every time he would do it i would get a shit load in my eye. this happened everytime!! so i would go home when i lived at my rents and go to bed and wake up the next day with a swollen eye. yea it was real cute let me tell you. ha it sucked...now i have learned to close my eyes when i get money shots...



damn girl~dont let them cum in your face~so disrespectful!! I'd snowball the shit out of them!! lol

[NightMare]

yes i looked it up on urban dictionary and you are right about snowballing i thought it was jsut when she spits it back at them in general lol

[$treet pharmaci$t]

yes i looked it up on urban dictionary and you are right about snowballing i thought it was jsut when she spits it back at them in general lol

I told him first your all late to this party :P

[kiara]

damn girl~dont let them cum in your face~so disrespectful!! I'd snowball the shit out of them!! lol



well he was a bad aim let me tell you so it didnt bother me where ever it went lol. when your in the heat of the moment well how i look at it, it really dont matter where it goes....no disrespect if its alright with me. now it depends on the matter tho.....

[isahoe]

well he was a bad aim let me tell you so it didnt bother me where ever it went lol. when your in the heat of the moment well how i look at it, it really dont matter where it goes....no disrespect if its alright with me. now it depends on the matter tho.....



Do you talk to your mother with that mouth? :haha:


lol

[kiara]

Do you talk to your mother with that mouth? :haha:


lol



yea and if she only knew how kinky her daughter turned out to be....man would she be surprised!!!


but my husband sure enjoys it!

[isahoe]

yea and if she only knew how kinky her daughter turned out to be....man would she be surprised!!!


but my husband sure enjoys it!


ROLMFAO!!!!


:haha:

[joker]

you wanted a wild sexy and crazy story I give u steaming Hot sex! it was 1991, I was 21 years old and had not had the experance of nor the joy of sex but was very horny and hot and loaded, girls i knew only want to be friends because they knew i was crazy because of all the times i took care of shit for them with past shit from other guys for them.So the story beginings when I just had enough of the name calling and teasing, so i went out cruisin the streets for a hooker, it was like 1am in the morning nervous and all, what do i say and is a fair price for what i want. um $60,$100 or what, so as i crusied the street thier was this hottie i thought she was a cop at first i turned around cutting off other cars so i wont be left out from get a piece of this ass. luckily I did because there was another getting ready to pick her up and there were 3 guys in the car and they were up to no good she told me as we were going to her hotel room. I told her i was nerous and i never had sex before, she fucked my brains out and thought me alot about what women enjoy during sex, it was around 3am when i left her room and went home smell like pussy, and slept thinking about the sex I had with her and went back at 7am wanting more, we fucked for a few hrs more and i took her to another place where she wanted to go because made enough money for awhile. from that day until i was 22 years old i must of had sex with 700hundred different girl and at least 2 time eachs, i was an addicted hooked on sex , i worked over time so i can feed my habit, i could not get enough, all i thought about was sex, all these girls though about was hitting that glass dick, drugs were cheaper for me because i did not use them but soon i need the drugs to heel the hurt that was feeling inside because this person that i became was not the real me. i went and got help throught a program and everyone else was drugs as mine was sex, It was so bad that i had a book of the hookers name and all, like what i did to if i made her wet and sticky if the sheet were wet because of us fucking, i graded them with stars and all, i was a sick motherfucker and i became clean and learned how to respect a women for more than just sex

[isahoe]

you wanted a wild sexy and crazy story I give u steaming Hot sex! it was 1991, I was 21 years old and had not had the experance of nor the joy of sex but was very horny and hot and loaded, girls i knew only want to be friends because they knew i was crazy because of all the times i took care of shit for them with past shit from other guys for them.So the story beginings when I just had enough of the name calling and teasing, so i went out cruisin the streets for a hooker, it was like 1am in the morning nervous and all, what do i say and is a fair price for what i want. um $60,$100 or what, so as i crusied the street thier was this hottie i thought she was a cop at first i turned around cutting off other cars so i wont be left out from get a piece of this ass. luckily I did because there was another getting ready to pick her up and there were 3 guys in the car and they were up to no good she told me as we were going to her hotel room. I told her i was nerous and i never had sex before, she fucked my brains out and thought me alot about what women enjoy during sex, it was around 3am when i left her room and went home smell like pussy, and slept thinking about the sex I had with her and went back at 7am wanting more, we fucked for a few hrs more and i took her to another place where she wanted to go because made enough money for awhile. from that day until i was 22 years old i must of had sex with 700hundred different girl and at least 2 time eachs, i was an addicted hooked on sex , i worked over time so i can feed my habit, i could not get enough, all i thought about was sex, all these girls though about was hitting that glass dick, drugs were cheaper for me because i did not use them but soon i need the drugs to heel the hurt that was feeling inside because this person that i became was not the real me. i went and got help throught a program and everyone else was drugs as mine was sex, It was so bad that i had a book of the hookers name and all, like what i did to if i made her wet and sticky if the sheet were wet because of us fucking, i graded them with stars and all, i was a sick motherfucker and i became clean and learned how to respect a women for more than just sex



OMG!! Holy shit!!

[T.c.a.]

Not so much "crazy" per say, but i once fingered a mates girlfriend while all 3 of us were sleeping in a bed. :haha:

[Little Mama]

ok Brick will tell one

I was seeing this chick she she had this thing when she was about to cum she would twitch buck or whatever you call it lol. we were going at it she was starting to squirm a little though nothing of it she had her feet up on the front of my shoulders i was going to town on her not realy paying attention. when she booted me i flew off the end of the bed landed in my laundry hamper which tipped over and and my head landed in the garbage can. took me a sec then i started laughing my ass off she was a little red faced and was like it is not funny lol i was like sure the hell is. We only dated for a couple more weeks :)


OMG :haha: this is the funniest one I have heard yet :P

This didn't happen to me but a friend of mine and after reading some of these stories I just have to let it be heard

She was dating this guy and he was a virgin, she was not. He ended up fucking the crease between the upper thigh and the vagina. He ended up blowing his load, she faked it because she did not have the heart to tell him that he wasn't in her hole :S

[Cheeky]

OMG :haha: this is the funniest one I have heard yet :P

This didn't happen to me but a friend of mine and after reading some of these stories I just have to let it be heard

She was dating this guy and he was a virgin, she was not. He ended up fucking the crease between the upper thigh and the vagina. He ended up blowing his load, she faked it because she did not have the heart to tell him that he wasn't in her hole :S
:haha: priceless...for everything else theres mastercard...hmm you all wont get that :S
Anyway, damn virgins :argh:

[NightMare]

Not so much "crazy" per say, but i once fingered a mates girlfriend while all 3 of us were sleeping in a bed. :haha:

lol i fucked a friends girl in a tent when we were all camping together he actually woke up and went for a walk so i could finish he was pretty pissed but he just dumped her and we were still cool

[Little Mama]

:haha: priceless...for everything else theres mastercard...hmm you all wont get that :S
Anyway, damn virgins :argh:


I get that! We have those commercials here too silly :P

[T.c.a.]

lol i fucked a friends girl in a tent when we were all camping together he actually woke up and went for a walk so i could finish he was pretty pissed but he just dumped her and we were still cool

Bros before hoes eh :haha:

his girlfriend ended up dumping him for me though :P cos, well, he treated her like shit anyways and cheated on her heaps :haha: so all in all, i won :D

[kizkiz]

There's a thread on this forum that is the funniest thing i have ever read.
Football365 Forum: Login Form (http://forum.football365.com/index.php?t=login&)
Unfortunately, you now have to register to read it.
Seriously though, it''s all one night stand stories and really is worth registering for. :D
A couple of examples:

Pulled a girl in freshers week at uni, she was in a club with a number of friends including her enormous munter of a flatmate who was obviously p*ssed off that her mate was ignoring her and was into me .

Anyways we leave the club and go back to hers and get it on. her bed was a massive wooden framed thing and I'm going at it like a train pulling my best pornstar moves and she has her legs wrapped round my waist, my head was down probably checking her bouncy boobies out when I hear a dull thud, a sort of "nnyuhh" sound and another thud.

I looked up and see that she must've leaned forwards and I was on a forward motion as the top of my head had connected sharply with her nose and smacked her back against the wooden bed frame and knocked her out with blood streaming down her nose!

Trouble was i was on the vinegars at the time and was left with the moral dilemma of a) checking she wasn't dead and cleaning her up, or (b) finishing off and then reverting to (a)

There was a bit of a comotion outside her door as fat/flat mate burst in p*ssed as eff to see that I'd opted for (b) and was just spaffing my load over her bloody and unconcsious friends big tits, perhaps not the best position to be found in.

Anyway fatflatmate's subsequent screams must've brought the other girl round (more screams) and after some swift explaining (and more screams) and apologising I legged it putting my clothes on as i ran/fell down the stairs. Thankfully I managed to avoid both of them and any rape charges for the rest of uni.

still not good enough? i was a few weeks shy of my 22nd birthday, the girl with me was 38 (i thought she was 35 tbf) ginger, like a v v v ropey charlie dimmock, and partially deaf...

When I went to the toilet ten minutes later, the smell was acrid, and the bowl was half full of garden peas. She shat peas. I told him this, by saying "Mate, she sh*ts whole peas", and he shagged her anyway because he is a trooper

Living in a flat of 5 guys at uni always led to having no bog roll then running out of tissues too etc etc. So anytime any of us pulled we lifted as many rolls as possible from the birds flat. Sometimes there where as many as 3 rolls in our bathroom!

i did the honourable thing and went back to hers and rode her all night and in the morning, then went downstairs to find her 14 year old son playing fifa. beat him 2-1 whilst his mum made breakfast

[T.c.a.]

:haha: thats fucking hilarious!

[Zeus]

OMG :haha: this is the funniest one I have heard yet :P

This didn't happen to me but a friend of mine and after reading some of these stories I just have to let it be heard

She was dating this guy and he was a virgin, she was not. He ended up fucking the crease between the upper thigh and the vagina. He ended up blowing his load, she faked it because she did not have the heart to tell him that he wasn't in her hole :S


:O she must have rather large lips for the lad to get confused like that, I mean sheesh, there is no mistaking feeling a vagina.

[kiara]

:O she must have rather large lips for the lad to get confused like that, I mean sheesh, there is no mistaking feeling a vagina.



omg!!!! :haha: seriously im sure a guy could get confused. really its his first time hes nervous as fuck and he thinks hes in and starts going at it. what the girl should have done was help him and put his dick in the right hole...cuz obviously he had no clue. haha but thats still classic tho he fucked a mattress his first time and thought it was some puss haha :haha:

[joker]

ok here is 1 for you! i was with this one girl several years ago and you know how like it mostly the guy that cant wait to get the sex goin and all, this chick was like that to me, i said baby do u just want to get off or do you want the best sex you ever had. She looed at me as if i was braging about myself and had this funny look on her face, i said let take it nice and slow as we kiss let me do the work at first and you will know when u need to start with ur toung and you will see the different in the sex experience. So i slowly move my toung into her month as I crested her lips with my toung as I moved it around in a circle movement and as my toung made it way into her month i thickeled her roth of her month and under her toung she was so hot and wild by this time and was whispering into my ear how do you kno these things and i so horny and i need it so bad, i said softly to her wait thier still more to come as we became completily nake I start to slowly crest her breasts and rubbering her firm nipple with a soft touch and start to lick them as well in this same matter, as i reach my left hand down to her boxs i could feel she was already wet and excited so ias i began to rub her and feel her i realized it was time to really rock her world, and we banged for hrs and when we were through she said she never knew sex like she had just experience with me, i said it all about time and slowing it down to feel and get the real exciement from it baby!

[Nightfrost]

DUDE that was weird when i was reading jokers post .. in the corner of his comment it shows the games (arcade) ur a champion in and it said Camera killer 2 and Catch a crab and i was laughing so hard

[Nova]

DUDE that was weird when i was reading jokers post .. in the corner of his comment it shows the games (arcade) ur a champion in and it said Camera killer 2 and Catch a crab and i was laughing so hard

:haha:

[joker]

so here this is true it happen in 1992, i decided to play a joker kind like you think it funny 3,4,5 people making fun of me and joking with me, we see who laugh last, so i had this dumb idea of planting a fake bomb inside of the place i worked at, 1 of my friends at the time join in this joke and we demanded money and all, we were across the street on a pay phone and the girl who answer at first thought this is a prank my buddy said(BITCH) u think i am playing told her were the bomb was, 2mins later everyone the store came running out and he said the money by 7pm night or all of will die, i was laughing and scared after all of this, but we were caught, i was bailed out on $5000 bail bond and was looking at 3 to 5 for this crime, A public deffender i had said well never did a case like this so will the case is going on if i was u i would have as much as i can. so 1 night scared that i would not see freedom for a long ass time i bought $500 worth of crack cocaine and had a room filled with hooker and all of us were naked smoking crack the room was filled with smoke a knock came at the door I almost took a shit right there when they open the door and 2 cops were there asking about another bitch that was not with us be she stole a guys car. the 2 cops were the same that arrested e 2 weeks before, and said how in hell did you get out of jail for planting that bomb, all the hookers eye went wide open the cops ask again how did you get out i said on bail my hearing starts next week and i am just having fun before i have to go away for long time the cops laugh they say we let it slide because ur other crime is the one that willl send u away. that night there had to of been 20 hookers in there all started asking me who i was and how could do acrime and not be locked up. i explained to them my story and had the past time of my life because they believe was some gangster but i was just a guy who made a dumb choice in life

[isahoe]

so here this is true it happen in 1992, i decided to play a joker kind like you think it funny 3,4,5 people making fun of me and joking with me, we see who laugh last, so i had this dumb idea of planting a fake bomb inside of the place i worked at, 1 of my friends at the time join in this joke and we demanded money and all, we were across the street on a pay phone and the girl who answer at first thought this is a prank my buddy said(BITCH) u think i am playing told her were the bomb was, 2mins later everyone the store came running out and he said the money by 7pm night or all of will die, i was laughing and scared after all of this, but we were caught, i was bailed out on $5000 bail bond and was looking at 3 to 5 for this crime, A public deffender i had said well never did a case like this so will the case is going on if i was u i would have as much as i can. so 1 night scared that i would not see freedom for a long ass time i bought $500 worth of crack cocaine and had a room filled with hooker and all of us were naked smoking crack the room was filled with smoke a knock came at the door I almost took a shit right there when they open the door and 2 cops were there asking about another bitch that was not with us be she stole a guys car. the 2 cops were the same that arrested e 2 weeks before, and said how in hell did you get out of jail for planting that bomb, all the hookers eye went wide open the cops ask again how did you get out i said on bail my hearing starts next week and i am just having fun before i have to go away for long time the cops laugh they say we let it slide because ur other crime is the one that willl send u away. that night there had to of been 20 hookers in there all started asking me who i was and how could do acrime and not be locked up. i explained to them my story and had the past time of my life because they believe was some gangster but i was just a guy who made a dumb choice in life




the boy who cried wolf~i believe you really are a sex addict now joker~:sad:

[lurkmode]

DUDE that was weird when i was reading jokers post .. in the corner of his comment it shows the games (arcade) ur a champion in and it said Camera killer 2 and Catch a crab and i was laughing so hard

you just made me laugh my ass off too...:haha:

[joker]

they want sex storie i gave to sex stories! next 1 will be about little red ridinghood and the wolf

[shadow]

Funny sex stories...Post here - [Forums] (http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/sexual-health/40262-funny-sex-stories-post-here.html)

[joker]

everyone thanks i am a sex addict, I just like sex and talking about it, it does not mean that everything i say and write is true it is XXX adult stories timeXXX. :haha:

[Flipchic]

everyone thanks i am a sex addict, I just like sex and talking about it, it does not mean that everything i say and write is true it is XXX adult stories timeXXX. :haha:

:hugs: Joker.. i just find you.. cute in a weird way sometimes.

[joker]

thanks, that a great compliment ! i am wierd , ia m funny i like making other laugh! thanks flipchic

[joker]

It was a hot and steaming night, and was going smoothly until they freaky chic start getting all crazt and all, talking about people dress up like clowns and circus freaks. She said her most wildiest dream is to be suduce by a man dress in a clown suit that sneek in through her bedroom window and waking her up by making balloon figure and all exciting with a balloon fiigure a 3ft dick and balls the size of horses balls. This chick was a freak, she asked me if i was wellling to do this for her as she slow crested my dick with her soft and beautiful lips as she slowly went down on me a driving me crazy in how she knew how to gave head, i could not said no, so i said yes yes baby i will dress up as this clown for you before i could tell all what i would do i exploded a load and she left up her head and smiled as she had shit dripping from her moth it was sick :puke:

[$treet pharmaci$t]

Joker hijacked this thread :hehe:

[Nightfrost]

Joker hijacked this thread :hehe:

i was about ready to say the same thing ! :lol: this is my thread damnit ! :haha:

[NightMare]

Joker hijacked this thread :hehe:

thats what i was thinking damn joker tore up this thread for sure lol

[$treet pharmaci$t]

I have been trying to think back to crazy wierd sex stories I have. Mostly though I have just plenty slutty low on morale :(

If I think of some more good ones I will come back

[joker]

when i was young i wonder what this small dam thing was, i thought of it as only a pissing gun, as time went by it began to become big and started to talk to me, all i heard was pussy, horny and all the words that i never heard before, By age 21 my dick was my best friend and was always in my hand or in some girls pocket, damn I am really insane or has my dick taken over me! :lol:

[tftmc]

I getting more CP points from this post on this thread then in the history of me posting here....

I'm glad to see you sick bastards are so fond of my sex life :-P

[Cheeky]

everyone thanks i am a sex addict, I just like sex and talking about it, it does not mean that everything i say and write is true it is XXX adult stories timeXXX. :haha:

You've just given me an idea for your signature.... :thumbs:

[EviLWaYz]

You've just given me an idea for your signature.... :thumbs:

ok you need to stop posting unless its something about a sex story with you now get with it :whip:

[$treet pharmaci$t]

ok you need to stop posting unless its something about a sex story with you now get with it :whip:


I am still waiting for your story

[EviLWaYz]

I am still waiting for your story

kristy then me :P

[$treet pharmaci$t]

Kristy your up :waiting:

I went :D

[Cheeky]

Kristy your up :waiting:

I went :D

Grr Fine

I was on holidays with my boyfriend and his parents, all of us staying in the same caravan..we'd managed to sneak a couple of quick fucks in the shower, etc, but just wasnt enough. So we drove up to the local duck pond, which also has an awesome view of the ocean on one side, walked up a small trail, then snuck off the track a little..through some bushes, no way we could be seen from main track

So we're on top of a hill, seemingly hidden, he's got me bent over a large rock goin for it when I register that I can hear something above us..after a few moments, I turn my head, and I can see a small plane flying overhead. My boyfriend didnt seem to care, but as I watched, it banked around and was flying back over us, much lower this time. I could almost see the person flying the damn thing. The perve did it once more, then left.. we finished up, and went for a swim.

I didnt think anything more of it till we went to the pub that night, and here is the local shark patroller talking to my bf's father about a couple of kids he caught fucking at the lookout earlier on in the day, the old bastards were having a good laugh about it. I had to walk away... :|

[Cheeky]

GK's turn now :waiting:

[$treet pharmaci$t]

GK's turn now :waiting:

:waiting: arun your up

Thanks for sharing kristy :D

[NightMare]

Grr Fine

I was on holidays with my boyfriend and his parents, all of us staying in the same caravan..we'd managed to sneak a couple of quick fucks in the shower, etc, but just wasnt enough. So we drove up to the local duck pond, which also has an awesome view of the ocean on one side, walked up a small trail, then snuck off the track a little..through some bushes, no way we could be seen from main track

So we're on top of a hill, seemingly hidden, he's got me bent over a large rock goin for it when I register that I can hear something above us..after a few moments, I turn my head, and I can see a small plane flying overhead. My boyfriend didnt seem to care, but as I watched, it banked around and was flying back over us, much lower this time. I could almost see the person flying the damn thing. The perve did it once more, then left.. we finished up, and went for a swim.

I didnt think anything more of it till we went to the pub that night, and here is the local shark patroller talking to my bf's father about a couple of kids he caught fucking at the lookout earlier on in the day, the old bastards were having a good laugh about it. I had to walk away... :|

haha a little unintentional exhibitionism nice

[lurkmode]

ok i got another one... this is one i'd recommend everyone trying... my girl was eating one of those long round fudgesicles i started going down on her and she handed me the sicle cause she couldn't handle herself. first thing that came to my mind was to bang her with it... i was thinking that's got to be cold but she was loving it so i didn't stop, next i just threw the thing and put my dick in... never in my life did i feel something as strange as an ice cold vagina...lol

[NightMare]

sounds like you might want to be a necrophiliac lol, but i have gotten a blowjob after a girl was sucking on an icecube and yeah it does fell pretty wierd in a good way

[Cracker4Life]

I like getting blowjobs while im driving, nothing better than a head full of blonde hair between the wheel and your belly.

[NightMare]

I like getting blowjobs while im driving, nothing better than a head full of blonde hair between the wheel and your belly.

that can be pretty dangerous really lol on very busy roads its not a good idea

[Nova]

ok i got another one... this is one i'd recommend everyone trying... my girl was eating one of those long round fudgesicles i started going down on her and she handed me the sicle cause she couldn't handle herself. first thing that came to my mind was to bang her with it... i was thinking that's got to be cold but she was loving it so i didn't stop, next i just threw the thing and put my dick in... never in my life did i feel something as strange as an ice cold vagina...lol


Ive done this before with ice cubes.. :thumbs: they like it a lot...

I like getting blowjobs while im driving, nothing better than a head full of blonde hair between the wheel and your belly.

Ive done this also, but I find it very difficult to concentrate on driving.. One time I stopped at a red light to make a right turn and the girl didnt know. she got up and like 10 ppl from the bustop were looking and laughed when she put her head up . :hehe:

[EviLWaYz]

Grr Fine

I was on holidays with my boyfriend and his parents, all of us staying in the same caravan..we'd managed to sneak a couple of quick fucks in the shower, etc, but just wasnt enough. So we drove up to the local duck pond, which also has an awesome view of the ocean on one side, walked up a small trail, then snuck off the track a little..through some bushes, no way we could be seen from main track

So we're on top of a hill, seemingly hidden, he's got me bent over a large rock goin for it when I register that I can hear something above us..after a few moments, I turn my head, and I can see a small plane flying overhead. My boyfriend didnt seem to care, but as I watched, it banked around and was flying back over us, much lower this time. I could almost see the person flying the damn thing. The perve did it once more, then left.. we finished up, and went for a swim.

I didnt think anything more of it till we went to the pub that night, and here is the local shark patroller talking to my bf's father about a couple of kids he caught fucking at the lookout earlier on in the day, the old bastards were having a good laugh about it. I had to walk away... :|

damn i must confess that was me in the plane :$

my turns coming just need to erm.......:run:

[$treet pharmaci$t]

damn i must confess that was me in the plane :$

my turns coming just need to erm.......:run:


kristy trip him while he tries to run away. He is up now!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cheeky]

damn i must confess that was me in the plane :$

my turns coming just need to erm.......:run:

GK.......you made me go....:glare:
:waiting:

[EviLWaYz]

GK.......you made me go....:glare:
:waiting:

:run: cant catch me im like usain bolt

or how ever you spell his name!

[Cheeky]

:run: although I know I'll never escape cos kristy is gonna catch me, whip me, tie me up and make me tell a story :P

:angel:

[NightMare]

lol well after all that he might have a new story to tell

[Cheeky]

BUMP!!

Gk, you aint getting out of this

[EviLWaYz]

wanna bet? :P

[herojuana]

is GK a virgin? lmao


about the wierdest thing that happened to me was i went back to this chicks house (after splitting her and her bf up the first time i met her) and we proceeded to start fucking. while in the process her flat mates decided it was a good idea to start knocking on the door, a bit odd but no problems. anyways they carried on so i asked if i should answer it. she was not impressed lol it went downhill from there

[Brick Shit House]

OK Brick has another wasn't gonna share this one but funny shit:)

Me and my buddy were having a few drinks with a couple of girls and the one who we knew pretty good she was like lets go in back room and fool around. So my buddy and i take her in the back she was sooo horny 2 minutes in she was naked she was like you fuck me from behind and i will suck your buddy off i was like hmmm ok don't have to ask me twice.( Now i know i am not the only one that has done this )

I was going to town on her and i knew she liked it she was just given er on my buddy.i was getting a little excited not realy paying attention pulled out a little too far and slammed it in the wrong hole while this is were everything went wrong she let this yelp out but was muffled from by buddy yelling OUCh she bit and dragged. Not thinking him i pulled it out oops another scream. my buddy was red faced and you could tell in pain we all looked at each other she was so embaresed as was I.After a few minutes he was like while at least can you finish me off LMFAO i said better yet i am going to get a drink you can fuck her :) She never gave us another chance after that night :(

[Nova]

OK Brick has another wasn't gonna share this one but funny shit:)

Me and my buddy were having a few drinks with a couple of girls and the one who we knew pretty good she was like lets go in back room and fool around. So my buddy and i take her in the back she was sooo horny 2 minutes in she was naked she was like you fuck me from behind and i will suck your buddy off i was like hmmm ok don't have to ask me twice.( Now i know i am not the only one that has done this )

I was going to town on her and i knew she liked it she was just given er on my buddy.i was getting a little excited not realy paying attention pulled out a little too far and slammed it in the wrong hole while this is were everything went wrong she let this yelp out but was muffled from by buddy yelling OUCh she bit and dragged. Not thinking him i pulled it out oops another scream. my buddy was red faced and you could tell in pain we all looked at each other she was so embaresed as was I.After a few minutes he was like while at least can you finish me off LMFAO i said better yet i am going to get a drink you can fuck her :) She never gave us another chance after that night :(

:haha: . Very good story brick +1.. btw. is GSP taking a piss in ur sig?

[Brick Shit House]

:haha: . Very good story brick +1.. btw. is GSP taking a piss in ur sig?


LMFAO no it is him blowing his load over all the weed he just saw lol

No i don't know Kacky made it for me :)
Thanks Kack

[isahoe]

I was born a little girl, glowing with bright eyes. One day puberty hit me and I grew to a large breast size. All the men around me, instantly looked my way. I was insecure about it, it did not feel okay. I felt under a microscope, like this was all I was. The only reason I search now, for a constant buzz.

When you said I looked real pretty, I thought that that was it. But then you brushed aginst me, your hand touching my tits. You were so much older. I was still a teen. You pulled me to the backroom, where nothing could be seen.

You pushed your dick inside me. As I floated away from the pain. I cried, "Why are you doing this," my mind going insane. As soon as he got off inside, he pulled my naked ass outside. He said, "that wasn't even good, I could get it better from a bitch in the hood. You are nasty, but your pussy is tight. Stop fucking crying or I'll fuck you all night. Just shut the fuck up or I'll go get my boys. They are married but enjoy fucking dumb little toys."

So I just stopped crying and lived in a haze, and this is how I felt for most of the days. I was glad I was living but I dreamt about death. As he suffocated me, I always took one last breath. My parents knew nothing about where I had been, trapped into sex slavery at the age of 10. My breasts made me captive to a horny mans wants. Now I lay naked for his friends to flaunt.

My breasts are exploited on every cable show. Why do they want them so bad, but won't let us go? Can't they see everything they want from watching the T.V.? Why does T.V. make you think that those sluts are me? Just because other girls show you their tits, does not make me a toy so you can play with your dicks!

an old story i wrote~a little serious but hey~not all sex stories are good ones. Just a thought.
:bleh:

[Nova]

I was born a little girl, glowing with bright eyes. One day puberty hit me and I grew to a large breast size. All the men around me, instantly looked my way. I was insecure about it, it did not feel okay. I felt under a microscope, like this was all I was. The only reason I search now, for a constant buzz.

When you said I looked real pretty, I thought that that was it. But then you brushed aginst me, your hand touching my tits. You were so much older. I was still a teen. You pulled me to the backroom, where nothing could be seen.

You pushed your dick inside me. As I floated away from the pain. I cried, "Why are you doing this," my mind going insane. As soon as he got off inside, he pulled my naked ass outside. He said, "that wasn't even good, I could get it better from a bitch in the hood. You are nasty, but your pussy is tight. Stop fucking crying or I'll fuck you all night. Just shut the fuck up or I'll go get my boys. They are married but enjoy fucking dumb little toys."

So I just stopped crying and lived in a haze, and this is how I felt for most of the days. I was glad I was living but I dreamt about death. As he suffocated me, I always took one last breath. My parents knew nothing about where I had been, trapped into sex slavery at the age of 10. My breasts made me captive to a horny mans wants. Now I lay naked for his friends to flaunt.

My breasts are exploited on every cable show. Why do they want them so bad, but won't let us go? Can't they see everything they want from watching the T.V.? Why does T.V. make you think that those sluts are me? Just because other girls show you their tits, does not make me a toy so you can play with your dicks!

an old story i wrote~a little serious but hey~not all sex stories are good ones. Just a thought.
:bleh:



We wanted sex stories not rape stories not a hoe. :eh:

[joker]

This is sad and touching, I am sorry that an asshole did these things to you!

[isahoe]

i dont have any good ones~~why cant i share an old story? at least it ryhmes!!

[Brick Shit House]

dunno but i am a boob man and sounds like you have nice pair :)

[isahoe]

DD's~and they SUCK!!!! ill never get an honest man with these things hangin around~fuckin sluts!!! lol

[NightMare]

DD's~and they SUCK!!!! ill never get an honest man with these things hangin around~fuckin sluts!!! lol

pshh yeah right bitches with big titties always say they hate them but we all know the truth

[Nova]

all men will be honest if u ask them about ur chest :thumbs:

[isahoe]

pshh yeah right bitches with big titties always say they hate them but we all know the truth

mine r not fake unfortunately :(

girls with fake boobs take the purity out of the woman body and have turned us real big boob girls into 2nd best campared to the fuckin whores you like~mine are nothing compared to those fake bitched tits~sadly they are real and men dont like real. they like slutty barbies~im gonna have to go live on an island and fish for survival just to escape the nasty peices of shit that follow them hoes.

but anyways, what were you saying?:whistle:

[Brick Shit House]

wife has DD's you play well with others lol ;)

[isahoe]

i do not~ my friend has a big dick though~do you play well with others, punk?

[NightMare]

mine r not fake unfortunately :(

girls with fake boobs take the purity out of the woman body and have turned us real big boob girls into 2nd best campared to the fuckin whores you like~mine are nothing compared to those fake bitched tits~sadly they are real and men dont like real. they like slutty barbies~im gonna have to go live on an island and fish for survival just to escape the nasty peices of shit that follow them hoes.

but anyways, what were you saying?:whistle:

so what if they arent fake most guys that like big titties and i mean really like titties have no problems with the fact that the bigger ones arent always gonna be perfectly perky, you just squeeze them together anyway when your titty fucking and they look great then and i bet they look pretty damn good in a bra or on your back lol

[Brick Shit House]

i do not~ my friend has a big dick though~do you play well with others, punk?

Now a days that is a logical question i know more lesbians then hetro peeps not by choice either just the way the word is now

[isahoe]

so what if they arent fake most guys that like big titties and i mean really like titties have no problems with the fact that the bigger ones arent always gonna be perfectly perky, you just squeeze them together anyway when your titty fucking and they look great then and i bet they look pretty damn good in a bra or on your back lol


oh, nice!! :haha:

i doubt they would look nice back there.

yes they look good still but when i get old and all the grandmas are all perky, im gonna be pissed cuz i bet my old fart of a lover will leave me for one of those hussies~lol


fuckin skanks~anyways~:bubble:

[NightMare]

i do not~ my friend has a big dick though~do you play well with others, punk?

that kinda makes you sound like your asking for him to come tag team you with your big dicked friend, im just saying

[isahoe]

Now a days that is a logical question i know more lesbians then hetro peeps not by choice either just the way the word is now



they are not really lesbians, just attention whores~haha!!

stupid men!

[isahoe]

No tag team for me thanks~

[Brick Shit House]

neigbours on both sides of me are married lesbians (yes 2 women can get married in certan parts of canada) as i see more and more of this sorry if i offended you was not intention

[isahoe]

i was gonna tell you are going to go straight to hell~yes it was offending me, but is now no longer offensive.

thanks for the cleanup on your part!! lol

PEACE~LOVE~WEED

[NightMare]

No tag team for me thanks~

oh come on be a good sport

[isahoe]

yeah, i will as soon as i am buried in my grave ass up~so you can kiss my ass!

dead will be such a relief from the sluts and harrasment by men. i can not wait to be valued as a human. death will probably come first though~sorry to say!

[Brick Shit House]

yeah, i will as soon as i am buried in my grave ass up~so you can kiss my ass!

dead will be such a relief from the sluts and harrasment by men. i can not wait to be valued as a human. death will probably come first though~sorry to say!


Careful he won;t kiss it :humpy:

[Liqquidsnake]

I love this Forum, very nice. I've had a few experiences, now and some a long time ago. It's this event that turned me into a writer. and it was also this event that caused some very weird and sick events to come about then. I hope you all don't mind me posting. Just a couple of Edits - in case anyone would become offended.



True

.......she even sat on my lap and said some dirty things to me! I was so nervous, and my feeling got worse the moment I felt her start to slowly grind herself upon my lap. Oh gosh, the things she said, it was
a lot to hear being ** age then. Everyone around at the bar-b-que didn't seem to be paying any attention to her or me. And my A*** Alice didn't seem to care if anyone was looking either. Her breath smelled of a sweet liquor and her open cleavage squashed into my chest as she gave me a lingering, sensuous little kiss on the cheek. I'd never felt anything like this before and I was completely embarrassed because it was clear my excitement could not be hidden.:yay:

[Nightfrost]

Ok since i started such a great thread :P:P:P
i have one last story

it was a friday and school just got out and i liked this girl alot and i knew she liked me so i walked over and asked her ot be my girlfriend she said yes all happy and joyous and then like 5 minutes l8er of us talking she then said "so we are going to ur place for 2 hours right ? " ... at that point my heart started to race and was so happy my dad wont be home until 7 that night so we raced to my house and to my room striping on the way to the bed and before i knew it i was about ready to put it in but .. she was too tight :O and no im not lying she was too tight .. so i was like FUCKING DAMNIT I WANT IN THERE !! .. so i stood there thinking of what to do and so i hit her vagina with my dick and yelled OPEN SESAME !! we both started laughing so hard .. and eventuall she got on top and it slipped in just enough .. and boy was it the tightest shit i have ever gotten in .. damn..
and if u think thats all .. the very same day same fucking same chick ..about and hour into it .. shes all horny and hot and fucking going crazy and she yells OHH FUCK OOH FUCCCCKK BETHANY !!! :|:| .. i stopped and she opened her eyes and looked at me and i said . .. . "" did u just scream ur sisters name ?" ... that sexual experience ended with a nod and me being single again :O:O

[TJ60]

I got priors caught me looking in the window:sad:

[joker]

Ok: there was this girl who loved to swing high in trees and from the rafters of ceilings , she love to do it freaky if you know what i mean.

Have you ever tried fucking up in a tree, or being hung upside down on a rafter and all you can see is the floor beneath you; or have a chick that wanted to fuck, and all she says is fuck me hard and hard as she slide up on her back on the bed post tossing and turning and still screaming fuck me, fuck me! I have and that bitch was a freak!

[TJ60]

Ok: there was this girl who loved to swing high in trees and from the rafters of ceilings , she love to do it freaky if you know what i mean.

Have you ever tried fucking up in a tree, or being hung upside down on a rafter and all you can see is the floor beneath you; or have a chick that wanted to fuck, and all she says is fuck me hard and hard as she slide up on her back on the bed post tossing and turning and still screaming fuck me, fuck me! I have and that bitch was a freak!

I have...while you were at work last night.:thumbs:

[tftmc]

I just read this whole Thread.

I motion for a Infinite Sticky! This is all priceless...

Snowballing (haha!), facials, hotel cheating, the poor people who had to clean up my mess @ Macys...

Seriously, best OddThought thread EVER!

[Duffman]

oooo this thread is perfect for me, i have so many lol heres one to start off with

met some chick in a night club, absalute stunner. went back to her house and did the dirty all night long
woke up in the morning alot less drunk and lets just say, it wasnt the same girl i met the night before if you get my drift lol i managed to get out of bed, dressed and out of her room without waking her
as i was walking across the landing to towards the stairs i hear her mum shout from the other room thinkin i was her daughter, and i hear her comin towards the door. on that note i made a bolt for the stairs, legging it down the stairs and some silly fucker left a box of tiles right in the middle of one of the steps nearer the top
ive stepped on it, its rolled over and ive gone tumbling down the stairs, smacked my head on the wall at the bottom and knocked myself clean out
i woken to find her and her mother looking down on me only to be informed that the ambulance is on the way. on that note i got my shit together and got the fuck out of ther asap

seen her around a couple times since, we tend to ignore each other :haha:

[Duffman]

was smashing my ex gf once, was giving her all my best moves...BOTH OF THEM!! just as i thort i was rocking her world, she looks at me in deep thought and says to me with great enthusiasm ...'oooo if you hurry up we can get mcdonalds breakfast' SLUT lol

[Duffman]

anybody wana hear bout when i snapped my banjo string? :haha:

[Az]

when it gets a few extra pages ill put it in the your posts go here superthreads subforum

[TJ60]

anybody wana hear bout when i snapped my banjo string? :haha:

sure

[Zeus]

anybody wana hear bout when i snapped my banjo string? :haha:


I almost did that yesterday, was going to town on my girl with full in and out thrust and I missed the re-entry point, it hurt for a lil bit but got over it to finish up lol.

[James T]

Ok there was this one time i went to this rave in some barn with a mate and these 2 girls, well we were all by the speakers drinkin & dancing etcc.... When one of the girls asked me to come sit with her for a minute.
She led me to this chair a little bit away from the rig & started to do this sexy seductive dance....I was proper mashed at this point & was wondering if i was dreaming!! So she come over to me & started rubbing up against me then undone my trousers and started sucking on my cock, It was like she was going to the beat of the music or something but whatever i wasnt complaining.... Funny thing is that we were in full view of everyone & not far from the speakers. Im suprised noone saw us.
After she'd been down there a while It got too much for me i had to have her. So we went off for a little walk & found this near by barn that we went in & found a good spot up against this haystack where we stayed & had some great sex!! Fuck my arse was sore after from the where the hay was digging in :O

[BIPOLARGODD]

I've got a few, but I'll post this one. My ex and I were going at it while her friend slept in the same bed. We had all been drinking heavily. I pulled out at "The moment" and shot it str8 into her eyeball by accident. Her eye was red and sore for two days. ;)

[James T]

:haha: I had a moment like that, My girlfriend was playing with me then starting rubbing my cock up and down her tits & then decided to wank me really fast i could feel i was gonna cum & didnt say anything....Then when i did a bit must of shot 3ft up towards her and next thing i hear was a big yelp!! When she looked at me all i could see was my jizz drippin out of her eye and all in her hair, i had to get her some eye wash & she soaked it out in an egg cup. She looked like she had been smoking weed her eye was that red mwahwahwhahhawhahhha

[Duffman]

I almost did that yesterday, was going to town on my girl with full in and out thrust and I missed the re-entry point, it hurt for a lil bit but got over it to finish up lol.

when i done it was so drunk i didnt even feel it go, god knows what i was doing but i must have been giving her a right rooting. was fucking for a bit then she stopped to give me a quick blowy... next thing i no she screams and starts crying, i look up and she got blood a over her face and in her mouth, naturaly i laughed :haha: then she pipes up and says 'i knew i was due on but i didnt think i was that close' realising what had happend, i jumped up and shouted 'EUGH YOUR FUCKING SICK' puled my pants up and got the hell outer ther rofl never seen her again since

fuck me did it hurt the next day tho, id never seen so much blood in my life its quite scary when you see it comin from your little man lol

pullin my foreskin back now is like slipping on a turtle neck if you get my drift :haha:

[herojuana]

when i done it was so drunk i didnt even feel it go, god knows what i was doing but i must have been giving her a right rooting. was fucking for a bit then she stopped to give me a quick blowy... next thing i no she screams and starts crying, i look up and she got blood a over her face and in her mouth, naturaly i laughed :haha: then she pipes up and says 'i knew i was due on but i didnt think i was that close' realising what had happend, i jumped up and shouted 'EUGH YOUR FUCKING SICK' puled my pants up and got the hell outer ther rofl never seen her again since

fuck me did it hurt the next day tho, id never seen so much blood in my life its quite scary when you see it comin from your little man lol

pullin my foreskin back now is like slipping on a turtle neck if you get my drift :haha:

bolded for emphasis

[Aeon]

LMAO!!! SO FUNNY!

My guy told me this totally gross story.. I LOL'D sooo hard .. I have to share...



He was with this one chick drunk one night in a cemetary and she wants to go down on him against a tombstone....... who is he to argue right...???
LOL
So ... long story short.......he's getting ready to finish....
and he's a nice guy..lol.. he tells her... "i'm gonna cum"
She says she wants to "swallow" he's like "hells yah...."

So he busts in her mouth... She coughs and it comes out her NOSE!

All of it. Draining out of her nose.... He said he ran away and almost puked.. never saw her again...

LMAO...

[tftmc]

anybody wana hear bout when i snapped my banjo string? :haha:

You couldn't have the 'Battle of Stringed Instruments' with that toothless kid from Deliverance?

Anyways back to the topic, So this one time I went on a Rafting trip with 3 buddies, one of them Burt Renyolds to the Sasquahana River in Rural Georgia, and these 3 armed Rednecks come up to us in the middle of nowhere...and well you know the rest. :|


Squeal Piggy Squeal!

LMAO!!! SO FUNNY!

My guy told me this totally gross story.. I LOL'D sooo hard .. I have to share...

He was with this one chick drunk one night in a cemetary and she wants to go down on him against a tombstone....... who is he to argue right...???
LOL
So ... long story short.......he's getting ready to finish....
and he's a nice guy..lol.. he tells her... "i'm gonna cum"
She says she wants to "swallow" he's like "hells yah...."

So he busts in her mouth... She coughs and it comes out her NOSE!

All of it. Draining out of her nose.... He said he ran away and almost puked.. never saw her again...

LMAO...

Is this guy's name Chuck? I think I know him.

[Aeon]

You couldn't have the 'Battle of Stringed Instruments' with that toothless kid from Deliverance?

Anyways back to the topic, So this one time I went on a Rafting trip with 3 buddies, one of them Burt Renyolds to the Sasquahana River in Rural Georgia, and these 3 armed Rednecks come up to us in the middle of nowhere...and well you know the rest. :|


Squeal Piggy Squeal!



Is this guy's name Chuck? I think I know him.


LOL.. Chuck from Canada????
Yeah i know him too...

NO.:|