lets fuck a joke

[Az]

lets take jokes and fuck them up beyond all recognition with realistic endings and punchlines! :thumbs:
























What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

[Az]

A man walks past a bar and sees a sign which says "PERFORM THE THREE FEATS AND WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!" Thinking that a million dollars sounds like a great idea, he goes inside and asks the bartender what the deal is.

"First," says the bartender, "you have to chug this entire bottle of vodka. Second, there's a crocodile in the back room with a bad tooth. You have to pull it. Third, there's an eighty-five year old woman in the back who's never had sex. You have to have sex with her."

The guy think it over and says "okay, sure. You have a deal!" He grabs the bottle of vodka and, with little effort due to the fact that he's basically a professional alcoholic anyway, downs it. Then he slams the empty bottle down and goes into the back room. There's a lot of screaming, some growling, and various crashing sounds. Finally a silence falls upon the bar. Minutes pass, then an hour. Finally the bartender sends a barmaid back to see what's going on. A few minutes later, she comes back out.

"What's he doing?" asks the bartender.

"What's left of him is back there in the croc pen," she says, her horrified face pale with shock. "His clothes are tossed in the corner. I think he tried to fuck the croc. The croc...the croc ate him."

"Oh, Jesus," whispers the bartender. "Jesus."

Nobody says a word.

[cunexttuesday]

lets take jokes and fuck them up beyond all recognition with realistic endings and punchlines! :thumbs:










What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

OMG...I can't stop laughing at this..
:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

[Sir Mankalot]

A man walks past a bar and sees a sign which says "PERFORM THE THREE FEATS AND WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!" Thinking that a million dollars sounds like a great idea, he goes inside and asks the bartender what the deal is.

"First," says the bartender, "you have to chug this entire bottle of vodka. Second, there's a crocodile in the back room with a bad tooth. You have to pull it. Third, there's an eighty-five year old woman in the back who's never had sex. You have to have sex with her."

The guy think it over and says "okay, sure. You have a deal!" He grabs the bottle of vodka and, with little effort due to the fact that he's basically a professional alcoholic anyway, downs it. Then he slams the empty bottle down and goes into the back room. There's a lot of screaming, some growling, and various crashing sounds. Finally a silence falls upon the bar. Minutes pass, then an hour. Finally the bartender sends a barmaid back to see what's going on. A few minutes later, she comes back out.

"What's he doing?" asks the bartender.

"What's left of him is back there in the croc pen," she says, her horrified face pale with shock. "His clothes are tossed in the corner. I think he tried to fuck the croc. The croc...the croc ate him."

"Oh, Jesus," whispers the bartender. "Jesus."

Nobody says a word.

Lmfao...it's funny cuz it's so possible. Drunk fucks.:jaijai:

[NightMare]

knock knock

whos there

jehovas witnesses

[T.c.a.]

Two black guys walk into a bar, enjoy a few drinks and leave quietly.

[NightMare]

Two black guys walk into a bar, enjoy a few drinks and leave quietly.

well thats not realistic at all

A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, discuss there religious differences over some non alchholic drinks then the rabbi agrees to do the thier taxes they exchange phone numbers and go home