Depression, again....

[peddle07]

Once again, talking on an online forum about my depression. I guess it's easier to do this than look someone in the face, only to get 'wheres the straightjacket' looks back. Oh boy, I knew it was about time for a relapse.
Yeah this one sorta hit me hard. I could almost feel it coming, my mood deteriorating, spending more time in bed, not being able to concentrate, not eating right. I just figured sitting it out, waiting, id get better. I was wrong. I don't even know why im typing this to be honest. I guess i need a vent. I don't really have a question, somtimes its just nice to get shit off your chest. this is actually the first time in 3 years ive thought about killing myself. Ahhh memories. Sometimes I just think it'd be easier, that im just slowly fighting a losing battle. Anyone have anything to share that cheers them up when they get down very, very, bad? if so , itd be very appreciated. its just getting to the point where im sick of the medication, sick of the therapy, and maybe, when i took that overdose, i shouldnt have bitched out.

[Pot4life]

peddle, suicide isnt they way out, think of all the people that will miss you

go out to the pub, talk to some mates, or even people that you dont rally know, make the effort to converse and people will converse back

[Mikey:)]

I dont have a cure for u man, but when I get low like that I find exercise really helps as well as setting a few goals and making the positive changes needed in my life. Not eating properly and staying in bed all day will just compound the problem, make an effort to get up and do something with your day... getting out in the fresh air always helps. Spend a few days keeping busy and physically active will help you feel better. Maybe you just need something to work towards? I dont know as I dont know your situation but that seems to work well for me.

[dave]

u seemed ok when we talked the other day, i useally go out and spend time with my friends when get down, they will always make me laugh and forget about stuff, i broke up with gemma agina btw, for good this time so iv been a bit down but im getting over it, try take up 'soccer' aswell and when u get pissed off maby hit the ball into the net a few times, also there is nothing better than havin a game of football and winning :P hope u feel better so man <3

[gotalot2do]

That's rough man, I really don't know what to say about the issue.:|

Tell you what though, if you just want to bullshit you can hit me on MSN gotalot2do@hotmail.com

[Aeon]

Baby peddle..you and me both...
I know it's been a shitty time for you... I know about no wanting to see the doctor, take meds, blah blah blah with someone. You just want/crave to sit at home in the dark and do nothing..wait for time to pass in hope sthat you might feel better...
BUT....after talking to someone on this site....he said too me.....
You can not just sit around and soak in it...
You have to get out.... call anyone...call that girl you hate who is always bugging you for a date...
Just get up get into the showerstay there until you run the hot water out.
then get dressed make sure you look good and get the fuck outta your house.
for at least 8 hrs.
or you can always call mizzaeon and have some phone sex. :D

[Furyous]

Hey Peddle,

I've suffered from bouts of depression for years myself. I know exactly how it feels to be lost in it, and not realize until it's too late. It sucks! The above advice is great. I was just reading about cures for the blues last night. One latest study done in Seattle, where it's cold and cloudy A LOT, suggested that a thirty minute walk once a day will do a lot to lift your spirits. It's something I figured out on my own. The science behind it has to do with Lux, a measurement of light. While sitting inside your home, even if the sun is out and coming through your window, you probably won't get any more than 50 lux, but by stepping outside on a cloudy day, you'll get about 7,000 lux, and 80,000 on a sunny day. I've put this practice to work, and it works for me. They also suggest taking some vitamins to help boost your endorphine production...

I know, it's more advice from some stranger, but I know exactly how you feel. I've been way too close to the edge in the past, and I don't like to go there any more. Try some new routines, and see if it might work for you. It has for me. Also, remember that your friends will always try to help you through your rough times. Nothing does it for me quite like hanging out with my buddies. You might call a good friend and just go out with them. Try not to concentrate on how bad you feel, but how much better you feel now that you're out of the house.....

Here's that article I was telling you about. Grab your boot straps and get on it dude. You'll be alright....

http://health.msn.com/centers/depression/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100147522

[baldfuck]

I dont have a cure for u man, but when I get low like that I find exercise really helps as well as setting a few goals and making the positive changes needed in my life. Not eating properly and staying in bed all day will just compound the problem, make an effort to get up and do something with your day... getting out in the fresh air always helps. Spend a few days keeping busy and physically active will help you feel better. Maybe you just need something to work towards? I dont know as I dont know your situation but that seems to work well for me.

This is really good advice.

Exercise is incredible for helping you through this sort of time. It really is. It releases endorphins, makes you see things more positively, giving you an hour or two to work towards a goal. When it wears off you dont get the same crash as with meds/drugs.

You may need to spend a couple of weeks, an hour a day (or half hour at first if you are new to it), before you start to feel the benefits.

Do not underestimate the power of this. It's the only thing that works for me.

Make your goals pretty simple at first like '30 mins exercise for a week,' ' get out of bed before noon every day for a week' etc. and increase their demands over time.

PM me please if you want to sound off about anything, I promise I'll reply.

(just read Furyous's comments, the advice about daylight is also good. I hope you can act on the sugestions in this thread - they don't just apply to feeling down, they apply to clinical depression)

[Dymond]

I was actually curious to see if Peddle's depression seems to happen during certain times of the year. I know Seasonal Affective Disorder is bitch and it seems to hit when the days start getting shorter..

[peddle07]

Yup, you're right dy. I super bad during periods with lower daylight. Being in a res room doesn't exactly help either. Thanks for all of the advice all, much appreciated. I'm not being an ass in this next part though. Been there, done that. The only thing that has really worked is the gym. Which i need to start again. I'm starting kickboxing training this month as well, so I can bust some skulls. It's hard getting time when i have so much school in a week. But once again, the moral support helps alot along with the suggestions. And no, I'm not gonna kill myself. I bitched out on my overdose a few years ago, it'd be a waste of time to try again.

[Dymond]

Well good luck P..tackling it w/o meds can be tough but I think its doable..

[JUSRISKIT]

this is actually the first time in 3 years ive thought about killing myself. Ahhh memories. Sometimes I just think it'd be easier, that im just slowly fighting a losing battle.

whoa, okay i followed your post man...i know you said you werent gonna do it, but it was mentioned...and at this point in time, i cant overlook it...i just cant...BECAUSE...on SEPTEMBER 3, 2006, at about 145 pm, I lost my mom...my stepfather found her when he got home from playing baseball...she hung herself...:cry:
urmmmm...shes battled endlessly for as long as i can remember...with depression and fighting those demons to counteract some very mean kind of nervous breakdowns...it got to the point where i could tell when and how bad a state she was in before anyone else...
she had just started new meds and stuff but with all the stress and pressure we currently were facing--it was just toooooooo much for her to bear any longer...(see in the past two and a half years, ive lost my grandpa, my grandma and now her, my mom)...everyone i grew up depending on...all i ever knew in life...:S
she couldnt take the fact that she was getting pulled in two directions between her brother, my uncle and his family, and her husband...the house (my grandparents house) both my mom and i lived in for all of my life was the center of the trouble...and what it came down to was money...i lost her over money...she sought out her own version of peace of mind the only way she saw possible...and now the battle begins between my evil stepdad and me, over what is rightfully mine...but refuses to give me...(i need to sue him for it)
sorry didnt mean to get into all the details but man, its still so raw, and now i find myself in that middle position that sent her over the edge...
things mustve been so bad for her to have left me and my two boys here, cause she would NEVER DO THAT TO US...we were everything to her...:unsure:

peddle, i guess what im really trying to say is...been there, done that, tried and failed...and honestly, i tell myself and everyone else everyday...why me, im not a bad person so why is He endlessly testing me???how much more does he want or can he take? but somehow, i make it through a day at a time, cause thats all i can deal with right now...(believe me, even thats hard to do)...and if ya need to rap, to shoot the shit with, to get things off your chest, im here...i dont judge...and i do honestly understand...im sick of all the bs out there...and i only deal real when it comes to people...just get at me on msn: jusriskit@hotmail.com or email me at jusriskit@hawaiiantel.net.

ill be here for you...the way i wish i wouldve been for her...the way i had been so many times before except this one time when she really needed me to be...i dont have all the answers and i dont pretend i do...(i do have a degree in psychology though--lol)...but i can be a good friend when you need one...:Rose:

sorry so long,:hidey: just had to share...it hits way too close to home right now...so i cant ignore it.:blushing:


respect as always,

---jeni---

[miemio]

Ai Peddle, Im sad to hear that you feel this way. But everybody has their rough patches.
I don't know if this will help for you, but if you think about how you chose life back then (instead of suicide), it might be a way to accept the downs of living easier? Saying yes to living meant yes to all aspects of it, not just the fun parts? I've found that this helps when I feel like life is running me over, to know that I've decided to deal with whatever is thrown at me. And its ok to feel down from time to time, it does not mean you have to give up everything!
Mikeys advice is really good, some exercise will probably help a lot. Also it is important (in reference to possible S.A.D.) to be a nazi in keeping your circadian rythm and not sleep too much or too little. Eat healthy, and try to get out and enjoy the daylight as much as you can. And just try to remember that no matter how intense a feeling is it will eventually diminish and maybe even go away.
Love you, kiddo, take care (f)

[vixen]

Matt,

I love you hunny and you always have a friend to call....you know you are worth so much more. Take it day by day hun...no answers here, just unconditional love and support!

Gretchen

[VikesWookie]

what don't you like about yourself?

what are you escaping?

[Davecat]

The advice i was gonna give, has already been given.
Stayin in doors, in bed just causes you to feel further from 'normality', the outside world. Cant say i've ever been suicidal, but i at one point spent a good 6 months barely leaving the house, pretty much never leaving my bed just not wanting to exist... didnt want to end my life - just kinda wishing i 'never was'.

This didnt go down to well with my dad who i was living with at the time, we fought a lot - which didnt help. Then i moved out. Getting back in the 'real world' (admittedly without choice) was just what i needed, ended up bumping into old friends - making new, got a new job. Was kinda like starting over. Not having a hole to retreat into forces you to do something, anything and thats one of the first steps to sortin yerself out.
The excersise is another thing, you dont eat and excersise - you physically feel shit - not just mentally, this makes it harder to motivate yourself and to feel better. Keeping physically fit makes the rest of it a lot easier.

The contact sport helps if you feel angry a lot. If your depression is not anger related i'd stick to the gym, believe it or not - someone kickin you upside the head when you cant be arsed to get out of bed - let alone fight back - will just compound the 'useless / helpless' feeling.

I'm on yer MSN already - hit me up when i'm on if ya want to sound off sometime

[Uganja]

Pull yourself together, we all have fucking problems. Stop searching for attention here and go out and get it yourself.

I know i sound unsympathetic, and to be honest, its because i am. Depression effects people, i can appreciate that, so can S.A.D. I can appreciate that too. But if people offer you advice, day in, day out, fucking take it and stop asking for more. What more do you expect from other people?

All of what was said, was really sound advice, and all of it WILL work, but if you choose to say "i've already tried it" as a response, then why should people try and help?

Its not a personal attack peddle, although it seems like it. Its more of a frustration at your illness.

[Beli]

Pull yourself together, we all have fucking problems. Stop searching for attention here and go out and get it yourself.

I know i sound unsympathetic, and to be honest, its because i am. Depression effects people, i can appreciate that, so can S.A.D. I can appreciate that too. But if people offer you advice, day in, day out, fucking take it and stop asking for more. What more do you expect from other people?

All of what was said, was really sound advice, and all of it WILL work, but if you choose to say "i've already tried it" as a response, then why should people try and help?

Its not a personal attack peddle, although it seems like it. Its more of a frustration at your illness.

spoken (typed) like someone who had not expierenced laying in bed without the will to even roll over. and it is soooo frustrating trying to pull someone out of that black hole. and if they won't come out.... i wish for a magic wand that could heal the pain of depression. i am of the opion that some people are born with a tendency to be depressed. no matter what, it attacks them. medications don't always work. counseling either. friends can be helpful IF you let them.
has anyone tried or heard of stories about ECT Electro Convulsive Therapy?
it was very harsh-broke bones-back in the day. but now it is getting be in high demand. i am wondering what you all think/know about the subject.

[Colonel Sanders]

I think we don't know enough about the Human brain to start new therapies, drugs and all sorts of shit, especially on something as common as depression.

I've seen 8 year olds be depressed over seemingly nothing when they have a great life, no abusive father or friends or harsh upbringing. My mother worked with these people for awhile a few years ago and had lots of experience with dealings of depression. She thinks 70% of the cases are just lifetime related and the other is some sort of psychological imbalance. I would probably agree with that assessment.

But that is what people call a chemical imbalance. And there is treatments for that that work. I should know considering my brother had a chemical imbalance and took medication for it. The times he went off of it, it was like night and day. And he had no reason to be depressed, it was just his imbalance.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't like seeing people getting shocked and fed pills when their depression is just that, depression. Not a god damn chemical imbalance that REALLY affects people and they cannot help themselves.

Hell you have parents shoving Ritalin down 5 year olds throat claiming they have "A.D.D." when all they really have is this symptom called "regular 5 year old unpredictable full of energy behavior parents not wanting to deal with it so they feed them pills instead, disorder". It's the same things with depression. Give the people with the real mental problems with chemical imbalances the pills they NEED. Not that oh shit I have lived a horrible life my wife or girlfriend left me and I am too much of a loser to pick myself back up again disorder.

[Beli]

Hell you have parents shoving Ritalin down 5 year olds throat claiming they have "A.D.D." when all they really have is this symptom called "regular 5 year old unpredictable full of energy behavior parents not wanting to deal with it so they feed them pills instead, disorder". It's the same things with depression. Give the people with the real mental problems with chemical imbalances the pills they NEED. Not that oh shit I have lived a horrible life my wife or girlfriend left me and I am too much of a loser to pick myself back up again disorder.
wow!!! some real sense there! it has become so popular to diagnose everyone with something. pill for this pill for that. no need to take responsibility for anything you do. blame it all on mental health problems. or on the meds you take for your problems. i agree that medication, ECT, and so on should be last resorts. and ECT the very last.
that said, i am currently about 20 feet from the ECT dept. here at this hospital. and i have seen some amazing results from it. wouldn't let them do that to me or anyone of my family. but some swear by it.

[Furyous]

Beli,
My friends mom is manic depressive and bi-polar. She has been up an down for years now. A few years back she just about did herself in. Her doctor sent her for ECT. It worked, but then she relapsed. So they did it again. She's never quite been the same since the last treatment, but she's also not wandering down to the store telling the tellers she's going to go home and put a bullet in her head any more either. Many times, apparently, more than one treatment is necessary. It's really a last ditch effort as far as I've heard, and is not for your average person. It's a pretty extreme treatment, but as evidenced with my friends mom, it is effective.
Now I know this is going to sound terrible, but even my friend thinks the same. Sometimes I wonder if she would have been better off without the treatment... She is really just a shell of a person. There's very little emotion, and she is completely lost outside of her own home. She sleeps all day and stays up watching TV all night. Same routine EVERY day. I love her to death, she's like a second mom to me, but sometimes I seriously wonder if she would have been better off having not gone through with the treatment. I'm not exactly sure what to make of it all as she's the only person I've ever known that went through the treatment, so I really have nothing else to compare with. I guess it saved her life, and that's really about it....

BTW
Two of her three sons were medicated manic depressives, and neither of them take their medication anymore. They got sick of the medication, and decided they were going to deal with their sickness on their own, and they've done an amazing job. I think most depression can be tackled, if the sufferrer put's their mind to it and decides to do something aout it.

[Beli]

some people have up to 20 treatments in a session. 3 times a week for however many weeks and then it tapers off to like once a month for maintence. while i wouldn't try it, i am glad that is works for some people. i look at it like this. before treatment they were going to kill themselves anyway, so even if they are not 100% after the treatment, at least they are alive. the most common side effect of ECT is memory loss. it usually comes back pretty quickly-days-but sometimes it can be permanent. so very last resort treatment.

[for20gurl]

Pull yourself together, we all have fucking problems. Stop searching for attention here and go out and get it yourself.

I know i sound unsympathetic, and to be honest, its because i am. Depression effects people, i can appreciate that, so can S.A.D. I can appreciate that too. But if people offer you advice, day in, day out, fucking take it and stop asking for more. What more do you expect from other people?

All of what was said, was really sound advice, and all of it WILL work, but if you choose to say "i've already tried it" as a response, then why should people try and help?

Its not a personal attack peddle, although it seems like it. Its more of a frustration at your illness.

wether its personal attack or not it was way harsh! You act as if ppl that suffer from depression get up one morning and decide that this is the first day of their new depression episode..."yay!!!"

you cant "appreciate" what you have never experienced. this is more than just being bummed over not gettin laid by the new hawtie in town or not getting the new shoes you want cause you are a few bucks short. its more than just being a bit bummed out over your current life. its horribly dark, and lonely and you really do feel that alone. i am glad that you have never had to deal with it. (and no that wasnt sarcasm)

[Uganja]

You don't know me so don't judge. Your post was completely contradictary to EXACTLY what you were trying to put across.



I have no sympathy. And quite happily stand by that.


Edit: You know what, fuck you for20. You have no idea, being depressed is a state of mind, a mental illness. You can get away from it, if you have the fucking balls to face it head on. Deal with it, keep yourself busy.... seek professional advice. Quit acting like your the first fucking person who suffers from it, you and i both know your country diagnoses "Depression" far too easily.

Trying to help someone with depression by talking through it to them is like banging your head against a brick wall. You wont get anywhere, sure you might get a short term solution... The person might pat you on the back and say they feel better. But are any of you "godly like people" psychiatrists? Can you offer peddle any advice he hasnt already heard? Can you actually dig deeper into the reasoning why he feels depressed? Can you dig so deep into Peddle's life that you know what made him turn that way? Do you know what might have been the reason for his depression?

No... so quit acting like the saint you all want to be perceived as.

It makes me sick to my fucking stomach

[for20gurl]

You don't know me so don't judge. Your post was completely contradictary to EXACTLY what you were trying to put across.



I have no sympathy. And quite happily stand by that.


Edit: You know what, fuck you for20. You have no idea, being depressed is a state of mind, a mental illness. You can get away from it, if you have the fucking balls to face it head on. Deal with it and keep yourself busy. Quit acting like your the first fucking person who suffers from it, you and i both know your country diagnoses "Depression" far too easily.

Trying to help someone with depression by talking through it to them is like banging your head against a brick wall. You wont get anywhere, sure you might get a short term solution... But are any of you "godly like people" psychiatrists? Can you offer peddle any advice he hasnt already heard? Can you actually dig deeper into the reasoning why he feels depressed?

No... so quit acting like the saint you all want to be perceived as.

It makes me sick to my fucking stomach

no fuck you asshole...did you see any advice in my post? no! I know exactly what depression is. its obviously you who doesnt or you wouldnt have that attitude towards it. I wish i had more time to respond to you but its just not worth it. You may be an open minded person but not on this subject.

[Uganja]

Ignorance is bliss as they say.



Let me guess, your depressed. :violin:

[Pot4life]

this thread is depressing peddle best of look but im goint to avoid comming here, brings back to many bad memories

[odd th0mas]

WOW, Uganja!!! lighten up a lil! :|

i don't believe most cases of depression have anything to do with a mental illness. alot of depressed people are hypochondriacs and they get in chronic negative mind-set where they think something bad is always gonna happen to them. they let their minds control them, instead of them controlling their minds. when that happens they compulsively start dwelling on the past, worrying about the future....but never do they center themselves in the present moment. if you live in the present, their is never anything wrong with you! take this moment for instance...is there anything wrong? NO! my unprofessional advice is to simply find way to get out of that loop and focus on the moment. when you get in negative mindset(harping on past, worrying about future) recognize it for what it is and try to get back in the moment. it should get easier, if you vigilant, as time goes on. :)

[miemio]

You don't know me so don't judge. Your post was completely contradictary to EXACTLY what you were trying to put across.



I have no sympathy. And quite happily stand by that.


Edit: You know what, fuck you for20. You have no idea, being depressed is a state of mind, a mental illness. You can get away from it, if you have the fucking balls to face it head on. Deal with it, keep yourself busy.... seek professional advice. Quit acting like your the first fucking person who suffers from it, you and i both know your country diagnoses "Depression" far too easily.

Trying to help someone with depression by talking through it to them is like banging your head against a brick wall. You wont get anywhere, sure you might get a short term solution... The person might pat you on the back and say they feel better. But are any of you "godly like people" psychiatrists? Can you offer peddle any advice he hasnt already heard? Can you actually dig deeper into the reasoning why he feels depressed? Can you dig so deep into Peddle's life that you know what made him turn that way? Do you know what might have been the reason for his depression?

No... so quit acting like the saint you all want to be perceived as.

It makes me sick to my fucking stomach
Ok, Im not gonna butt into the disagreement between you and 420, but I'd like to say that you have some valid points. Diagnoses for any imperfection is making the normal human conditions pathological, and there is too much medication prescribed for deviations from the norm. So a lot of the so called mental illnesses are more emotional issues, and you have to fight them by meeting them head on, being brave and stepping out of the victimrole a person who is labeled sick takes to heart. It takes determination and self-insight to solve those issues and take responsibility for your own shitty life and the consequences of your actions.

But you cannot deny the fact that a lot of people are biologically predisposed towards depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses, and that when you get depressed you will change your brains biology to be more receptive to future depressions. This is a real problem for people right? And even if they know about the methods for making things better, the depressed mood is still real. So coming to friends asking for some compassion and advice (sometimes a reminder from somebody else on how to do things can help) might even be a step in the "rebuilding" process, even if they seem to be very negative while doing it. Throwing cold facts and *pull yourself together man* in their face might be meant in a good way(dishonesty will get you nowhere), but sometimes its good to wrap things in nicer words just to be compassionate?

And.. the reason why I wanted to reply in the first place.. Digging up reasons for why and how you turned out like you did can be an endless affair, and in my opinion it is the wrong end to start a recovery process (also pretty useless, because you'll never know the answer:P), it's like wallowing in dirt when you really need to take instant action and fix how things are at the moment.

Also there are new treatment methods for anxiety that involve forming online friendships and getting support from people met online(not only professionals), so what Peddle/we are doing isn't so silly really. But I agree that it can be dangerous to throw out advice all over, especially if you dont know anything about the person asking, is it a schizophreniac or just a regular sad teen..


Pot... what do you expect to read about in a thread labeled depression?! Chocolate and carousels and big smiles?

[Gringo]

I suffered from depression and SAD last year, maybe it may come back who knows!

I found that eating Ice cream, stuffing my face with chocolates and watching Chick flicks always helped :$

Uganja, Im shocked by some of ure comments! :O

[peddle07]

Wow, this thread sure has gone south. Please people, keep the shots at each other out of here. Jay has every right to speak his opinion.
Ok, we'll I've been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance, and we're doing some tests to see if I have SAD, and how severe it is. Laugh all you want, I'm laughing right back. So no, I'm not running around all emo, hating life as it hates me. KAF, you have a good comment, I must say. I'm not a big fan of medication to be honest, but It's been working on and off for me here lately. I've done quite a bit of switching. Also, I'd like to point out, IF i were a hypochondriact, i'd pick something quite a bit more exciting. And as a 13 year old, depression and suicide wouldn't be a choice for me. To be honest, I didn't really understand what was going on myself. If I was really looking for attention, I think I'd skip the online forum that I know no one in real life, and go straight to the gun or knife weilding on campus, thanks.
I came to this forum, because it seems to be a very understanding place for the most part, and I appreciate different peoples views. But yes, it's all been good advice for the most part, but 'been there, done that' it works, short term. I'm not giving up, as tempting as ending it all seems to be sometimes, funerals are damn expensive. Uganja, you remind me of my dad though, all the same. Coming from a meeting with my psychiatrist when I was 14, after getting shit from my peers at school, hearing every day 'I heard Peddle's crazy, i heard they might lock him up, I heard he tries to kill himself, what a fucked up guy', then when I start to cry in the car because I just want it to stop, and I want to be normal again, play the 'aa' hockey ive played my whole life, go out and be the guy everyone laughed at, my dad looks at me and says 'What the fuck is wrong with you? You got a fucking problem, and it's really getting to me'. He wasn't so smart when I punched him in the face. Or even when I took 75 tylonol, and he thought he was going to watch his youngest son die, now was he. But then again, I don't know you, you don't know me, or my situation. It must be fun to be so quick to judge. Why aren't you a counseller or a psychiatrist? I'd love for you to be the positive reinforcement my kids get. What a joke.

[Colonel Sanders]

I normally do not like to comment on these kind of threads, because you are right, depression or not everyones situation is different and you cannot comment it on a personal basis like you know the guy.

But I would like to think I know depression and chemical imbalances pretty well myself. My older brother who committed suicide 4 years ago suffered from severe depression, but it was due to a chemical imbalance. And a certain drug helped him amazingly. However things happened later in his life that was REAL and not just his chemical imbalance telling him everything was shit; so due to that not even medication could break through it and he shot himself.

It was a tough time for me and my family and I slipped into depression then to and honestly have not got better until about 6 months ago, but I took support from my father and kept my head, and it helped me a lot. I can say I am almost 100% well these days.

But believe me I don't criticize anyone for having depression and what they go through. I know it's real. I just want to make sure people know the difference between real mental caused depression and just shit out of happiness and money depression.

[odd th0mas]

well now that i know your 13, one word:HORMONES!

and unless you atleast 21, and lived thru it, don't UNDERESTIMATE their power on bodily functions.

[Furyous]

Well, I'm gonna throw my two cents in again. I've battled through several bouts of depression in my lifetime. If you remember what Peddle said at the beginning of this post, it kind of snuck up on him....

Oh boy, I knew it was about time for a relapse.
Yeah this one sorta hit me hard. I could almost feel it coming, my mood deteriorating, spending more time in bed, not being able to concentrate, not eating right. I just figured sitting it out, waiting, id get better.


I can tell you that that is a very real deal. If you've ever been through depression yourself, you might know that. Even after I had my counseling, and was "better", a couple of years later, I found myself in a pretty deep hole. The problem is, you can have all the tools in the world, but if you don't see it coming, it can hit you like a ton of bricks. One morning you wake up and, BOOM, you know you're in deep shit now. That's how it usually happened to me.

I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Mike Wallace from 60 minutes fame, was in a move called Dead Blue. It was a bunch of different well known people talking about their battle's with depression. If you really want a graphic explanation of what it feels like to wake up one day and realize that your in too deep, and you've got to find a way out, this video explains depression like nothing I've ever seen or heard before. It's definitely worth watching for those of you who are interested. I would not however recommend it to people who are in the middle of their own struggle with depression. It is so detailed, I remember, the first time I watched it, it brought back a flood of memories. I actually bought the film and had my family watch it. I explained to my mom and dad that this is EXACTLY how it happened to me. Uganja, you particularly, should watch this film.

Depression doesn't only affect poor people, or young kids, or people with bad things happening in their lives. It can happen to anyone. My freinds mother, who I mentioned in an earlier post, graduated from UCLA with a degree in Nuclear Physics, only to be met head on with her disease. She's never practiced in her field. It has completely debilitated her.

You can check out a small clip of the video here: http://www.videodetective.com/default.asp?frame=http://www.videodetective.com/trailer-preview.asp?publishedId=233151&customerID=97135

The clip doesn't really give you a real taste for the movie, but I'd suggest renting it, if you can find it. It is not an uplifting movie. It really is a documentary about depression, and how it affects those who are battling through it. Alright, I've rambled on long enough. Check out the film already...

[peddle07]

well now that i know your 13, one word:HORMONES!

and unless you atleast 21, and lived thru it, don't UNDERESTIMATE their power on bodily functions.
My bad, 13 being in the past tense. And I didn't learn in anatomy lectures about the clock that shuts off hormone fluxes on your 21st birthday. I'm gonna have to ask my prof about that.

[Pleb]

You have no idea, being depressed is a state of mind, a mental illness.

Uganja mate, I have to disagree with you there. Some depression is purely mental, but a lot of people have depression caused by a chemical imbalance in their body, as already referred to by KAF and Paddle. A lot of people who are manic depressive suffer from this. Its not a mental problem, its a situation where their brain is getting wrong signals from their body. Where people aren't aware of what's causing it its a horrible situation for them and their family. I've seen it firsthand in an immediate family member.

Peddle - I haven't really got anything to add beyond what has been said already, just that its important to keep talking to people about it, especially your family.

[XXX]

:boo: Although we don't really know you that well we do know how you feel.

:RideH: If there is anything that we can do to help cheer you up please let us know because that is how we fight our own depression.

:haha: Yea by making other peaple laugh at us we find that we can laugh at ourselfs as well and that can get preaty darn amusing if We must say.

:fanclub: Hey if you want to see some kinda funny shit just look up some of the stuff that Muppet XXX made us write back in the forum archives

:Hbag: Or maybe you might try to kick XXX's ass in one of the games.

::): Everyone else around here do's and it seem's to cheer them up.

:hugs: Let us know if there's any thing we can do to help, Ok?

:pothead: Hey Boss, Someone's comming what should we do?

RUN!!! :run:

[tca]

Refraining my own views/comments from this thread, hope you get better soon peddle dude, never a good thing to see someone feel like shit.

[Eyez Neverclear]

Peddle I have had many of those days in my life too. The best advice I could ever give out of my own personal experiences is be distracted. Don't give yourself time to sit around alone and do nothing but think. All the suggestions that have already been said, sports exercise and what not, they are all good and its because they keep you from thinking too much. Friends are always a good way to get you out of it. Even sitting on your friends couch bullshiting and not really doing anything at all works.

For me the time spent in bed at night trying to fall asleep was the worst. I'd sit there for at least 30mins every night but as many as 2-3 hours was common. Just thinking about shit I shouldn't be. Things I wish I could change and what not. You know you're really fucked up when you sit awake for hours making lists in your head of the things you'd do if you had "3 wishes." Don't give yourself that opportunity Peddle. Keep busy and tire yourself out before bed time.

Another piece of advice I had to learn about the hard way was learning not to rely on a girlfriend to help me out. They were always the easy distraction growing up. A womans love can make you feel so good and melt away that depression. But no down time was ever as bad as when the relationship wasn't going as I wanted or when it came to an end. Women can really fuck a guy's head up when he's not thinking straight before to begin with. Find a constant peace with your life before you go anywhere serious with a relationship. Other than that just screw around. It may sound bad in itself, but it'll end up being healthier for you in the long run. I promise. The day I started feeling like life wasn't completely fucked was the day I was first able to be happy by myself without a girlfriend.

[odd th0mas]

My bad, 13 being in the past tense. And I didn't learn in anatomy lectures about the clock that shuts off hormone fluxes on your 21st birthday. I'm gonna have to ask my prof about that.

i hear ya!

as a serios discussion, i'm jus gonna say i wish ya the best peddle! there's alot of good advice here, an that's what u were seeking. i got empathy 4 ya, but that's it...i don't got a clue what ails ya!.

a got a little quote from "what about Bob" tho.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
i'm a schizophreniiac....and SO AM I! :)