College Essay

[Infernal Abomination]

This is an essay I did in college. I received an A on it. So I thought I would share it with all..


It’s late February in the middle of what seems to be a rural area. It’s eerie, cold, dark, dreary and damp. The nearest light would be the street lamp in the distance. The existence of such lights, were far and between. The darkness would swallow you, body and soul. You could look around and around, but find, not one light pole. To the left just off of the road, (if it were visible without light) you would see a faint sign stating, “The Sprite Sight State Fair.” Now the fair was abandoned, I should tell. Though the commoners there knew that all very well. Sitting on the side of the road, happened to be a koala bear named Mahala Astaire, and her pet “Tim,” the toad. They spoke to each other using morse code. Meanwhile down the road rode Steve, the paint horse of course. He trotted along merrily, and glee, forgetting that his sight was as bad as could be. When off into the recently thawed mud he flew, tripping over a broken tree log or two. “Are you alright sir?” Mahala would say, “I tripped over them there same logs, just yesterday.”
“Wha? Who? What are you? A koala bear doesn’t belong here, you belong in the zoo!” Steve replied.
“How dare you insult me!? I know what I am. I’m afraid that you haven’t even dared to ask poor Tim, how he might feel. You flew directly into him! I think your hoof hit his heel” Mahala burst out.
Just before poor Steve could get himself out, a car zoomed right by. Didn’t even stop to help. Mahala was hungry; she’d been sitting all day. She asked poor tipped over Steve, if he would take her across the street to the Fair. Besides, they might have some food over there. Steve agreed to her request and told her to climb on. Over to the fair, he limped like a broken-winged fawn.
“Mmm this food sure tastes good,” Mahala blurted out. Before he could reply, Steve was shot in the thigh, as Mahala began to run, into the just dawning sun.
“Why would you do that miss? Why? Oh my why?” Steve would begin to cry. “I gave you a ride, and got shot in the side.”
Mahala would once again reply, “Hey, like you said. I’m a koala. Airy-head. Look it up in the dictionary instead!” She then ran away, with Tim in her pouch.
The moral of this fable is don’t trust what you don’t know for certain, and a koala is a bear. (i.e. koala- n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves.)

[Infernal Abomination]

This is an essay I did in college. I received an A on it. So I thought I would share it with all..


It’s late February in the middle of what seems to be a rural area. It’s eerie, cold, dark, dreary and damp. The nearest light would be the street lamp in the distance. The existence of such lights, were far and between. The darkness would swallow you, body and soul. You could look around and around, but find, not one light pole. To the left just off of the road, (if it were visible without light) you would see a faint sign stating, “The Sprite Sight State Fair.” Now the fair was abandoned, I should tell. Though the commoners there knew that all very well. Sitting on the side of the road, happened to be a koala bear named Mahala Astaire, and her pet “Tim,” the toad. They spoke to each other using morse code. Meanwhile down the road rode Steve, the paint horse of course. He trotted along merrily, and glee, forgetting that his sight was as bad as could be. When off into the recently thawed mud he flew, tripping over a broken tree log or two. “Are you alright sir?” Mahala would say, “I tripped over them there same logs, just yesterday.”
“Wha? Who? What are you? A koala bear doesn’t belong here, you belong in the zoo!” Steve replied.
“How dare you insult me!? I know what I am. I’m afraid that you haven’t even dared to ask poor Tim, how he might feel. You flew directly into him! I think your hoof hit his heel” Mahala burst out.
Just before poor Steve could get himself out, a car zoomed right by. Didn’t even stop to help. Mahala was hungry; she’d been sitting all day. She asked poor tipped over Steve, if he would take her across the street to the Fair. Besides, they might have some food over there. Steve agreed to her request and told her to climb on. Over to the fair, he limped like a broken-winged fawn.
“Mmm this food sure tastes good,” Mahala blurted out. Before he could reply, Steve was shot in the thigh, as Mahala began to run, into the just dawning sun.
“Why would you do that miss? Why? Oh my why?” Steve would begin to cry. “I gave you a ride, and got shot in the side.”
Mahala would once again reply, “Hey, like you said. I’m a koala. Airy-head. Look it up in the dictionary instead!” She then ran away, with Tim in her pouch.
The moral of this fable is don’t trust what you don’t know for certain, and a koala is a bear. (i.e. koala- n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves.)

[Infernal Abomination]

another essay I did

Hawaii
I found myself running barefoot through the crystal sandy beaches. The waves just off shore were hypnotic. I felt as though I was in a dream. From ashore, the white wash seemed to radiate in the moonlight. It seemed as though someone shined a light on me. The tiny pebble like islands in the distance appeared to be just out of reach. It was a comfort to my eyes. My whole life seemed to pause for a moment. I could hear the earth speak.

[Infernal Abomination]

another essay I did

Hawaii
I found myself running barefoot through the crystal sandy beaches. The waves just off shore were hypnotic. I felt as though I was in a dream. From ashore, the white wash seemed to radiate in the moonlight. It seemed as though someone shined a light on me. The tiny pebble like islands in the distance appeared to be just out of reach. It was a comfort to my eyes. My whole life seemed to pause for a moment. I could hear the earth speak.

[swiss miss]

This is an essay I did in college. I received an A on it. So I thought I would share it with all..

The moral of this fable is don’t trust what you don’t know for certain, and a koala is a bear. (i.e. koala- n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves.)

really nice work, but id have my red pen out with koala is a bear ;) your definition is correct, its a marsupial!

[swiss miss]

This is an essay I did in college. I received an A on it. So I thought I would share it with all..

The moral of this fable is don’t trust what you don’t know for certain, and a koala is a bear. (i.e. koala- n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves.)

really nice work, but id have my red pen out with koala is a bear ;) your definition is correct, its a marsupial!

[Infernal Abomination]

yea, it was corrected already. but i like it in that form ;)

it's not suppose to make certain sense

[Asshole]

It was crap, 3 lines and i almost killed myself

[Infernal Abomination]

damn. i wish you would have succeeded. this isn't AIW. go tell someone who cares about your bitching

[Infernal Abomination]

damn. i wish you would have succeeded. this isn't AIW. go tell someone who cares about your bitching

[YetAnotherKitten]

Gotta be honest (and less dramatic). I don't like it either (sorry).

Points for sillyness and creativity don;t get to far because you are over-doing it I feel.

Also

es·say Pronunciation (s, -s)
n.
1. (s)
a. A short literary composition on a single subject, usually presenting the personal view of the author.
b. Something resembling such a composition: a photojournalistic essay.
2. A testing or trial of the value or nature of a thing: an essay of the students' capabilities.
3. An initial attempt or endeavor, especially a tentative attempt.
tr.v. (-s, s) es·sayed, es·say·ing, es·says
1. To make an attempt at; try.
2. To subject to a test

What this means is that , I believe , you have some sort of poetic peice or possibly a creative writing composition (perhaps a limeric?). Perhaps I'm wrong but I don't believe you would call this an essay, nor would you call it college level. Sorry--red pen on incomplete sentances does me in.

BUT its thought provoking...

EDIT: It could be a narrative essay. my bad.--still...

[YetAnotherKitten]

Gotta be honest (and less dramatic). I don't like it either (sorry).

Points for sillyness and creativity don;t get to far because you are over-doing it I feel.

Also

es·say Pronunciation (s, -s)
n.
1. (s)
a. A short literary composition on a single subject, usually presenting the personal view of the author.
b. Something resembling such a composition: a photojournalistic essay.
2. A testing or trial of the value or nature of a thing: an essay of the students' capabilities.
3. An initial attempt or endeavor, especially a tentative attempt.
tr.v. (-s, s) es·sayed, es·say·ing, es·says
1. To make an attempt at; try.
2. To subject to a test

What this means is that , I believe , you have some sort of poetic peice or possibly a creative writing composition (perhaps a limeric?). Perhaps I'm wrong but I don't believe you would call this an essay, nor would you call it college level. Sorry--red pen on incomplete sentances does me in.

BUT its thought provoking...

EDIT: It could be a narrative essay. my bad.--still...

[revolt]

Yeah it would be nice if Infernal could reply. I do believe that it was in fact a narrative essay though.

[Puppy Dogs and Ice Cream]

bahahahahahahahhahaha

[Eyez Neverclear]

damn. i wish you would have succeeded. this isn't AIW. go tell someone who cares about your bitching

There is no reason to take it to AIW. You posted something you obviously wanted people to critque and he gave his opinion. Now if he constantly flamed you throughout this thread then you'd have a point. But you could have posted it in the serious discussion thread, as is, and with his reply he still would have been within the boundaries.


Someone needs to pluck your apostrophe key off of your computer. Your 80 level junior college prof should not have in any way shape or form given you an A grade on that paper. I've read it 2 times now and have yet to decipher a point to it. It never even stayed on the same general topic. Unless of course your storyline was extreme randomness.

However, I like your creativity. It reminds me of something I would have drempt up back in high school when I was halucinating on acid

[Eyez Neverclear]

damn. i wish you would have succeeded. this isn't AIW. go tell someone who cares about your bitching

There is no reason to take it to AIW. You posted something you obviously wanted people to critque and he gave his opinion. Now if he constantly flamed you throughout this thread then you'd have a point. But you could have posted it in the serious discussion thread, as is, and with his reply he still would have been within the boundaries.


Someone needs to pluck your apostrophe key off of your computer. Your 80 level junior college prof should not have in any way shape or form given you an A grade on that paper. I've read it 2 times now and have yet to decipher a point to it. It never even stayed on the same general topic. Unless of course your storyline was extreme randomness.

However, I like your creativity. It reminds me of something I would have drempt up back in high school when I was halucinating on acid