Happy ST. PATRICK'S DAY

[Jacx]

Being half of Irish decent i think its only right that seeing as many non irish celebrate it (well it is the biggest piss up day of the year baring new years itself) that i wish you all a happy paddys day from myself and the staff at oddthought.

http://www.cnn.com/interactive/world/0703/gallery.st.patricks.day/frameset.exclude.html

cnn's pictures above...if any of you took pictures of the day and celebrations please share them with us.


and now some jokes:

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking (as you do), and discussing how stupid their wives were.


The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a freezer to keep it in."

The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!"

[KACK]

happy st pats day

funny joke jacx

[DeLeRiuM]

Happy Drunken Green Holiday to everyone!

I spent the day sober celebrating my son's 2nd birthday, it was worth it. :)

[KACK]

will u do this every year?

[JaiJai]

Happy SPD! and Happy birthday to your lil' munchkin Dellie (f)


http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a354/tweesa/KissMeImIrish.jpg

[Jacx]

Paddy and Mick are walking home after a night on the tiles. They've got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot.
Paddy has a brainwave and says to Mick "Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I'll stay out here and look out for the police".
Mick duly breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while Paddy is wondering what the hell he's doing. Eventually Paddy sticks his head around the door and sees Mick running from bus to bus and looking very worried.
"What the hell are you doing Mick, get a move on!" to which Mick replies "I can't find a number 7 anywhere Paddy".
Paddy, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts "You bloody eegit Mick, steal a number 9 and we'll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way!".


Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with Paddy the Pilot and Shamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window. "B'jees" said Paddy "Will ye look at how short dat runway is".
"You're not kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus. "Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see" said Paddy
"You're not kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus. "Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put the engines in reverse" said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus. "And den ye put de flaps dow straight away" said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing that" replied Shamus. "And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy. "Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.
"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy. "I be doing dat already" replied Shamus.
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Shamus full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to the Mother Mary with all of his soul.
Amidst the roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Shamus and everyone on board.
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Shamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest runway i have EVER seen in me whole life".
Shamus looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, but look at how wide it is!"


Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class his teacher asked, 'What do you have in your hand?' Patrick said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away.' He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, 'What do you have in your hand?' So little Patrick said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent home and his mom asked him 'What do you have in your hand?' So little Patrick said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent to his room and his da came in and said, 'What do you have in your hand?' So again little Patrick said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he get scared away.' Then his Da got really mad and yelled, 'Open your hands!' And little Patrick said, 'Look Da you scared the crap out of him


So, there's this guy, and he's at his local bar when the bartender says, "Hey Mick, I think you had better go home, mate. I think you have had one past your share."
Mick, still sipping off his last pint says, "Alright Joe. I'll head off here as soon as I finish this one." After a few minutes, Mick swirls around his stool and steps off, only to fall to the ground. Thinking to himself, Mick relizes that he is more pissed than he thought. "Maybe if I get to the door, the fresh air will help me sober up. He crawls to the door frame, shimmies up, and takes his first step out into the street. Mick opens his eyes, and sees the pavement at his face. "Jesus! I must be really drunk! I should be able to crawl two blocks to my house and get myself into bed." And so he did.
The next morning Mick's wife walks into the bedroom with the morining tea and awakes Mick. "Mick, where you at the bar last night?"
Mick, still rubbing his eyes, says, "Yes Mary, I was, but how did you know that?"
Mary replys, "Joe called. You left your weelchair."



A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole goddam day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."
The Kerry farmer says:"Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over here too."




Paddy and Murphy in London

Two Irishmen were strolling down Oxford Street in London.

Paddy turns to Murphy with a look of amazement on his face and says: "Murphy, will you look at that shop over there. I thought that London was supposed to be expensive but that shop is as cheap as chips!"

Murphy says: "Paddy you're right so you are. Suits £10.00, Shirts £4.00, Trousers £5.00, I think that we should buy the lot and take them back to Ireland. We would make a tidy profit selling them in Dublin, so we would."

Paddy says in agreement: "Murphy that is as good an idea as you'll ever have, but I'm pretty sure that you have to pay taxes and duty on things like that. The shopkeeper will never let us have them if he thinks we're gonna export them and make our fortune, so he won't."

Murphy thinks and says: "Paddy, I've got an idea! You can do the best English accent out of the pair of us. You go in there and do the talking and I'll just stand behind you and say nothing. He'll never guess we're Irish. No he won't."

"OK Murphy", agrees Paddy, "I'll do the talking, you just stand there and look English."

So the two go into the shop, where Paddy is greeted politely by the owner. Paddy then proceeds to do his best Warren Mitchell impression; "Alwight Guvnor, I'll 'ave 20 of yer 'Whistle un Flutes', 20 'Dickie Dirts' and 20 pairs of strides. And if yer don't mind, I'll be paying with the 380 'Pictures of the Queen' in my 'Sky Rocket'."

Upon hearing this request from Paddy, the owner smiles and says to Paddy, "You're Irish aren't you?"

Quite bemused, Paddy replies, "Oh be Jesus. Mary mother of Christ, if that ain't me best English accent? How in God's name did you know that we were Irish?"

The owner replied, "Because this is a Dry Cleaners!"



Now the Irish have a new clinic for those who want to stop smoking. It's called Nicotine's Anonymous. If you get the urge to smoke, you call them and they send a man over and you get drunk together

[YetAnotherKitten]

I need a tshirt that says "kiss me I know someone who's irish"

[Santo]

I need a t-shirt that says fuck me im irish on the front, and ok im not but i've fucekd an irish in the back.

[Ice]

Yay happy saint patty's day all :)

[tca]

happy day pisspots :P

[curlybogtrotter]

Great jokes!! They sound like people i know :hidey:

[DnD]

happy belated st patty's day.

last night i wore a green shirt that said "im not irish" on the front and "but kiss me anyway" on the back ;)

(ok ok, i wrote it on the shirt myself with a black marker)


and this morning i woke up ontop of my covers, with the lights on, still fully dressed in my classy green shirt, my shoes still on, and i even had the headphones to my mp3 player on. :hidey:

[King Koopa]

Green beer for everyone drink up (Y)

[Ice]

happy belated st patty's day.

last night i wore a green shirt that said "im not irish" on the front and "but kiss me anyway" on the back ;)

(ok ok, i wrote it on the shirt myself with a black marker)


and this morning i woke up ontop of my covers, with the lights on, still fully dressed in my classy green shirt, my shoes still on, and i even had the headphones to my mp3 player on. :hidey:


lol...was a good night then