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SweetHoney
23rd March 2007, 06:39 AM
Men Are Just Happier People--

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Americanized, and not "completely" accurate, I know. I thought it was funny, and had to share.

tca
23rd March 2007, 01:04 PM
lmfao nice one

Cowboy From Hell
23rd March 2007, 04:34 PM
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

ROFL!

Deadwrong
23rd March 2007, 04:43 PM
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


lol thats wat i did for 2006 xmas!

Ruffio
23rd March 2007, 09:08 PM
all very true espically the last

TJ60
24th March 2007, 02:42 AM
yea but we got screwed....

God was handing out traits to adam and eve. God says to them I have 2 things left in the bag... the first is peeing standing up and the second is..adam interupts and says no need I'll take that one. God says ok eve the last thing in the bag is multiple orgasms:hidey:

Santo
24th March 2007, 06:03 AM
yea but we got screwed....

God was handing out traits to adam and eve. God says to them I have 2 things left in the bag... the first is peeing standing up and the second is..adam interupts and says no need I'll take that one. God says ok eve the last thing in the bag is multiple orgasms:hidey:

Fucking aye!

SweetHoney
24th March 2007, 07:10 AM
yea but we got screwed....

God was handing out traits to adam and eve. God says to them I have 2 things left in the bag... the first is peeing standing up and the second is..adam interupts and says no need I'll take that one. God says ok eve the last thing in the bag is multiple orgasms:hidey:

Men have this ability, but most fail to have the stamina (lose interest in the pursuit) required to achieve the second orgasm let alone the third. Some men seem to be content with the one, while a chosen few aspire to far greater endeavors. Sad really, considering. *weg*

tca
24th March 2007, 09:44 AM
i've had 7

let me tell you, its really not all its cracked up to be

Moonblood
24th March 2007, 12:18 PM
i've had 7

let me tell you, its really not all its cracked up to be

Yes, it is.

Shanna
24th March 2007, 12:26 PM
my god sweet honey!!!! as if their ego's weren't big enough already?::P -#

SweetHoney
24th March 2007, 08:31 PM
my god sweet honey!!!! as if their ego's weren't big enough already?::P -#

I figured it was only fair after the male bashing jokes I've posted. :D Besides, I find it amusing to watch them "puff up" when they go into rutting season. Showing off all their regalia to impress the females. Cracking their horns against one another's to get a nut...y'know. ;)

DoinkDaFreak
25th March 2007, 10:53 AM
Cracking their horns against one another's to get a nut...y'know. ;)



That went gay quick.

SweetHoney
29th March 2007, 04:36 AM
That went gay quick.

They are "competing" for the nuts...not sharing them.

JiB-O
30th March 2007, 01:01 PM
i've had 7

let me tell you, its really not all its cracked up to be



damn, your arm must have been sore :-#

tca
30th March 2007, 01:04 PM
oh man, it was lol

ever had a week long case of wankers cramp :P