Stinger
22nd September 2007, 02:31 PM
The 11th Husband
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband #2 was in Software Services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband #3 was from Field Services. He said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
" Husband #4 was in Telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband #5 was an Engineer. He understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration. He thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband #7 was in Marketing. Although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist. All he did was talk about it.
"Husband #9 was a Gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
"Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector. All he ever did was........... God I miss him.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful," said the husband, "but why?"
"You're with the 'GOVERNMENT'...This time I KNOW I'm gonna get SCREWED."
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband #2 was in Software Services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband #3 was from Field Services. He said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
" Husband #4 was in Telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband #5 was an Engineer. He understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration. He thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband #7 was in Marketing. Although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist. All he did was talk about it.
"Husband #9 was a Gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
"Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector. All he ever did was........... God I miss him.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful," said the husband, "but why?"
"You're with the 'GOVERNMENT'...This time I KNOW I'm gonna get SCREWED."